Hi my name is Taylor and I have a football addiction. Welcome to the first weekend without football since August, the pain and sadness we will all be experiencing this weekend is real. Post Football Depression, or PFD, is a legitimate mental condition and should be treated with as much seriousness as we treat other conditions such as ‘Hilary didn’t win so now I need a week off of work to recover’ syndrome.
How am I supposed to spend the 25 hours this weekend that are usually filled with the excitement of watching grown men try to smash each others heads in? Should I go attempt to interact with females? Possibly take one on a date? Should I go to work and try to get a head start on Monday? Should I walk outside into the light and experience sunshine? NO WAY THAT ALL SOUNDS HORRIBLE.
The light at the end of the tunnel for this weekend is next Sunday we have the greatest holiday in America, Super Bowl Sunday, and my Atlanta Falcons are in the big game. So I will probably spend a majority of my 25 hours watching film on the Patriots because we have to know the opponent as well as we know ourselves in order to be successful.
Besides watching film there are plenty of other great sporting events on this weekend such as #2 Kansas vs #4 Kentucky in one of the best regular season matchups in college basketball and it couldn’t come at a better time to cure some PFD. The only problem is we have to sit through hours of medicore matchups like Georgia-Texas and West Virginia-Texas A&M and Trump’s press secretary-everyone on the internet; all apart of the SEC Big 12 challange presented by the weirdos from the Sonic commercials.
In fact this whole day of sub-par college basketball matchups is like watching a Sonic commercial, all you’re thinking the whole time is when is this creepiness going to leave the screen so I can get back to what I’m really waiting for. All this trash college basketball that’s on today is the fault of ESPN and Sonic. They know Kansas-Kentucky is an unbelievable matchup but they need some excuse for the two historically great teams to play each other in the middle of conference play so they introduce the SEC-Big 12 challenge presented by Sonic. Why can’t we just schedule Kansas-Kentucky in the middle of the season so everyone can just enjoy it? BECAUSE THE NCAA AND ESPN CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT MAKING IT AN OVERHYPED POOPFEAST OF TERRIBLE PROGRAMING PRESENTED BY SONIC CATERED BY APPLEBEES BUILT BY THE HOME DEPOT AND INSURED BY PROGRESSIVE.
If ESPN or the NCAA did something that made sense I think it might be too shocking for us all to handle so let’s just sit back and enjoy a little more Tennesse-Kansas State to push away our PFD. Just because Kansas-Kentucky is going to be great, doesn’t mean it has to ruin the rest of a Saturday slate of college basketball.
Weekend Picks:
Kentucky -7 over Kansas
Marshall -13 over UTEP
Pro Bowl: Over 82.5
Rafael Nadal -125 over Roger Federer
Kentucky -7 over Kansas
This really is a great matchup and potentially a preview of what we could be watching in April during the Final 4. Both of these teams have a lot in common, historically great programs with multiple national titles, great coaches who would cut off their left hand if it helped them sign a recruit, and freak of nature freshman who are sure to be one and done and lottery draft picks next season. The edge in this game is with Kentucky being home in Lexington which is why I think they will be able to win by double digits. Kansas is a great team but not especially a great road team with their only two losses on the season coming away from Allen Fieldhouse. Also despite their great straight up record KU is a pathetic 6-12 ATS this season. Rock-Chalk Why can’t we cover the spread?
Marshall -13 over UTEP
Hey that team from that one movie about the football team in the plane crash is playing that team from that one movie about how racist college basketball/America was 50 years ago. That is probably how most of America knows about these two schools so why waste a second of your time watching this crap? Because Marshall is going to win by 20. How do I know? UTEP is 5-14 this year and is in last place in the SouthwesttexasWesternwestvirginia conference (serious question why the hell are these 2 schools in the same conference? Does the NCAA own a map or is that place run by a group of chimpanzees wearing tuxedos). and they have to go on the road to one of the better teams in the conference. Easy $.
Pro Bowl: Over 82.5
We all know the Pro Bowl sucks but its all we have this weekend. It might do a tiny bit to cure some PFD and I am willing to take that chance and watch it. All week the National media has been asking “why did we elect this guy?” “what is wrong with the Pro Bowl?” I can tell you what’s wrong easily, 90% of the enjoyment of watching football is seeing the most athletically gifted people on the planet full speed smash into each other. The Pro Bowl is like watching a scrimmage where everyone on the field is treated like a QB and can’t be touched. All of this lack of hitting may make for bad football but its good for useless TDs. This season is the first time in 3 years that it will return to the AFC-NFC format, and the previous 3 times the game was in that format the game went over.
Rafael Nadal -125 over Roger Federer
Once upon a time I was sort of a tennis legend in the trenches that is the Wyoming high school tennis circuit or at least that’s how I remember it. Since then I have not picked up a racket since 2010 and have followed very little tennis professionally but I always loved to watch these 2 play. In order to make an accurate prediction for this final I called our blog tennis correspondent and indoor football/gas station enthusiast Joebin Ritzdorf, who himself was once upon a time a GPAC tennis legend. He said and I will loosely paraphrase; Rafael Nadal is having a career renaissance in this tournament and is looking like a 2005 version of himself. Roger Federer also is not playing his age and after taking some time off is in his first major final in a few years. Most people know their names but no one expected these two old guys to make it to another final, much less against each other. This very well could be the last ride for both of them and its sure to be exciting. Joebin likes Nadal in tight 5 set match over Fed and is even staying up all night to watch since the match starts at 2 AM central time, adding #Sleepisfortheweak. If Joebin is correct we can celebrate his accuracy and he keeps his job as tennis correspondent. If he is wrong feel free to send him spam/hate mail to josephritzdorf@gmail.com
Double COVERage 