Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 21th straight week, Welcome to the Super Bowl.
Let’s start with this, the NFL has trademarked the phrase ‘Super Bowl’ so technically everyone besides NFL network, Fox, CBS, and ESPN is supposed to say ‘the big game’ instead of ‘Super Bowl’ and I’m so sick of hearing people dance around the phrase Super Bowl so I won’t do it here.
We finally made it to the greatest day of the year, Super Bowl Sunday. This day has always been my favorite holiday, and make no mistake it is a holiday. People gather together with friends and family, eat food that is unhealthy for them, and awkwardly make small talk about football to distract from real world problems happening around them; sounds like a holiday to me. This day has always been my favorite holiday ever since I was too old to get toys as presents for Christmas and realized a day spent drinking beer, eating wings and nachos while watching the biggest football game of the year is about the best way you can spend a day. It’s also a send off into the offseason where we will all wait 7 months to watch another live football game (unless you’re a CFL fan). For some people its about the commercials and halftime show. For others its about the game and prop bets. I usually lean on the side of game and gambling, but I love all of it. I especially love that even the people who know nothing about sports know the game is going on and might even watch part of it.
I should probably explain something before I go on, I am a Falcons fan. If this isn’t your first time reading this you might be thinking you already knew that, but trust me you don’t. I am such a die hard fan die hard is an understatement. I am such a fan that it almost goes to a religious status. Have you seen the movie Fever Pitch with Jimmy Fallon? That guy was an amateur compared to me. (What kind of fan gives up season tickets so he can have a shot at dating a minorly attractive women? Completely unrealistic.) I watch every snap every season, I live for every touchdown, and slowly die with every turnover. I have a Falcons shower curtain, a closet of Falcons t-shirts, and have had either a Michael Vick or Matt Ryan poster in my bedroom for a majority of my life.
When I started sharing my thoughts on the internet I didn’t plan on writing about the Falcons because it almost seems like having a casual acquaintance tell you about their children you’ve never met, you don’t really care. But here we are the Falcons are playing in the Super Bowl so I can’t act like I don’t have a huge rooting interest in this game. How did I become such a big Falcons fan? Long story short I make bad life decisions. I never expected the Falcons to get to the Super Bowl in the first place, I don’t think anyone did. Their odds and the beginning of the season were 100/1 to win it all and yet here we are.
So what’s the problem? It’s my favorite holiday and my team will be playing. Sounds like a perfect scenario right?! Wrong! The entire atmosphere that makes Super Bowl Sunday great is ruined for me. The fellowship, drinking, eating, and celebrating the season is put aside while I pace up and down the room pulling my hair out over the game it self. Instead of going to a Super Bowl party with friends and enjoying a day centered around football I will watch the game alone, probably on mute, (first time Joe Buck says something that is negative about the Falcons I will for sure mute the tv and tweet horribly things to him @buck) and like a psychopath talk to myself and throw things and stress myself out about a game that I’m not actually playing in. There is nothing fun about that, all the joy and relaxing Sunday atmosphere that normally is on Super Bowl Sunday will be traded in for tension and constriction all because the team who’s jersey’s I liked when I was little is playing in the Super Bowl for the first time since I was 6.
There is nothing relaxing or fun about this for me. This is a battle. I will be locked in and focused as if I were playing. Does that make me a psycho? You’re absolutely right Boom. Am I proud of this? Not at all. I really do have a problem and after reading this you agree I have a problem maybe all of you can start a gofundme and possibly pay for my future therapy. Until then I will be watching the game alone, on mute, with my phone off to avoid all possible distractions. If you believe in some kind of higher power please pray for me, and Matt Ryan.
NFL Super Bowl Pick
Patriots -3 over Falcons
Over 59
Patriots -3 over Falcons
Obviously I’m hoping I am wrong about this pick, but if my team is going to lose and crush my hopes and dreams I might as well win some money while it happens. People have had two weeks to dissect this matchup and the conclusion I made is no one really knows how this is going to play out. Actually at different points this season I said there was no way the Patriots win the Super Bowl without Gronk and I said there was no way the Falcons win the Super Bowl without Desmond Trufant. Both were pro bowlers last year and had season ending injuries so I am already wrong heading into this game. Having watched the Falcons all year I know better than anyone the Falcons offense is legit. Julio Jones is the best receiver in the NFL, Tevin Coleman, Devonta Freeman, and Pat Dimarco are the best backfield in the NFL, top it off with Matt Ryan playing like the MVP he is and the Falcons offense is playing nearly unstoppable. Even the Falcons young defense has played better holding opponents to 19 ppg during their 6 game winning streak. The biggest stat for the Falcons during their win streak is they are +12 in the turnover margin. And yet dispite all these great things the Falcons have done I, like a lot of people, have a feeling Bill Belichick will find a way to stop the Falcons and win this game. Why would anyone think differently? Everything I’ve ever known watching football is Tom Brady and Bill Belichick win these types of games (except when they play Eli Manning) and The Falcons lose these types of games. Numbers don’t exaclty support the Falcons either. The number one offense in the league is only 1-7 in the last 8 super bowls, Falcons have the number one offense. Team with the better Defense tends to win these type of games, and the Patriots have the best scoring defense in the league. I truly hope I am wrong but everything tells me the evil genius Belichick finds a way to get it done.
Super Bowl Prop Bets
Ok there’s plenty of time for me to get emotional about Matt Ryan or stress out about Tom Brady but let’s try to focus on the fun stuff, prop bets. Every year Vegas Sportsbooks release hundreds of different props to bet on during the game ranging from how many yards will Tom Brady throw for to what will Lady Gaga wear during her halftime performance. After a week of sorting through hundreds of options here is what BartSauce and I think will hit.
Bart’s Best Bet: National Anthem Under 2 minutes 9 seconds
Look guys, I’ve done plenty of research (watched 3 youtube videos) of Luke Bryan singing National Anthems before sporting events and he has NEVER went over 2 minutes. Luke Bryan is what I like to call a football guys guy, and he knows what everybody is there for, and that’s the football game. I am fully confident that he will put together a quick and clean National Anthem.
Donald Trump mentioned under 1.5 times during the broadcast
Joe Buck and Troy Aikman most definitely realize that people love sports because it’s a nice escape from reality and politics. They might mention his name once, but definitely not twice or more.
Coin Toss: Tails
You know the drill: Tails never fails.
A player other than Brady and Ryan WILL attempt a pass
Edleman and Sanu both have quarterback backrounds and trick plays are always fun, especially in a highstakes game. I really like the value on this one too at +135.
Will the word “Lacrosse” be said on the broadcast? YES.
Hey, did you guys know Chris Hogan played lacrosse?
Dion Lewis Over 26.5 receiving yards
The Patriots are 16-0 in their last 16 games Lewis has played in, and a big part of his success is catching the ball out of the backfield. The Falcons will only be trying to limit his big play ability out of the backfield but he will get his chances. Plus someone other than a white receiver has to catch passes for the Patriots at some point, its the law of the NFL.
Austin Hooper Over 11.5 receiving yards
The Falcons rookie TE isn’t exactly a major part of the game plan but all he has to do here is get 1, 12 yard catch, he’s good for at least that
Julio Jones Under 95.5 receiving yards
‘Belichick always takes away the other teams best weapon’ is a phrase all sports media loves to use, mostly because its true. Julio has been out of his mind in the playoffs and there’s a chance he goes for 200+ during this game but more likely is he is doubled. When he’s been doubled this season the Falcons have been more than content to throw the ball to everyone else in the offense.
Different Falcons players to catch a pass Over 8
Matt Ryan has been great at distributing the ball this season. Falcons set the NFL record for different players to catch a TD this season with 13. On average about 8 different players catch a pass and I think the last game of the season the Falcons will be more than willing to pull out all the stops and throw to everyone.
Chris Hogan Over 59.5 receiving yards
Seriously did you know Chris Hogan played college lacrosse?! Hogan had a huge game in the AFC championship and he could very well do the same in the Super Bowl. Mostly because he will be covered by the weaker Falcons DBs like Jalen Collins.
Times Holst will cry during Super Bowl Sunday Over/Under 1.5
no matter who wins take the over.
Double COVERage 
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