Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 10th straight week. Welcome to NFL Sunday.
"You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four" - Harvey Weinstein
We have officially hit the halfway point in the 17 week NFL regular season. I don’t have time to go into detail about math but 10 weeks in means its halfway through the season for everyone. This is the week we are allowed to start talking about the playoff picture, MVP favorites, and how long will the Browns wait to fire their head coach and start another rebuilding process. This week I’m going hand out my midseason awards, this won’t be easy awards like MVP or rookie of the year. I’m going to be digging deep to tell you who really deserves recognition and attention in the NFL after nine weeks.
1. Next to be named a Head Coach award aka. Assistant Coach of the year
Let’s start with an award that is an actual award given out by the NFL. They call it the coordinator of the year award but let’s be honest what it actually is, is the guy who will immediately be hired as a head coach next season award. This award goes to the most underrated guy in the NFL right now Frank Reich, the offensive coordinator for the team with the best record in the NFL the Philadelphia Eagles. Currently their is a line 2 miles line full of fans and media members alike, lined up to kiss Carson Wentz butt and tell him how he is the greatest thing to happen to the QB position since the forward pass. Can we all pump the breaks on the Wentz butt kissing for a few minutes? Yes he has been incredible, but he ain’t doing it by himself. The real genius in Philly is Frank Reich. A career backup QB who led the most incredible comeback the NFL playoff history and I couldn’t even think of another comeback that comes close or is worth mentioning. Reich has been an assistant in the league for almost 10 years and most notably was the QB coach for the Colts when a certain Peyton Manning was the QB.(Along with the great play of Carson Wentz) Frank Reich is the reason the Eagles are 8-1 and have the best record in the NFL so far this season. Last Sunday the Eagles put up 51 points of offense on what was the number one ranked defense in the NFL this season, the Broncos. By the beginning of next season Frank Reich will be a head coach in the NFL and if I were in charge of the Giants or Browns I would start courting him now.
Winner: Frank Reich
2. Color Commentator of the year
Let me guess you’re probably thinking this would go to newcomer Tony Romo right? Romo has been a great change of pace for color commentary, and since he is fresh off the field he knows so much about what’s going on in the NFL right now. Makes all the sense in the world to give him this award. That’s what I was thinking too until last Monday night when Jon Gruden came in with a brilliant 5 minute break from game action to discuss a ‘turkey hole’ and as they say in the business “kings stay kings”.
Jon Gruden remains the undisputed heavy weight king of commentary. Any old former player/coach could stand up there and alert you that Matthew Stafford is beating a cover 2 defense by hitting the receiver on the sideline in between the deep safety and the flat corner, but only Gruden can invent a whole new phrase that no coach or player has ever used before and act like its a common thing every fan should understand. Do you as a fan need to know that the next play Ameer Abdullah fumbled and the Packers recovered drastically changing the momentum of the game? Absolutely not! Give me more Turkey Hole talk!! If Tony Romo is ever going to truly find his stride as a color commentator he will need to be more like Gruden and ignore the important action going on the field to tell us more about spider 2 Y Banana.
Winner: Jon Gruden
3. Legal team of the year
This award is a no brainer its going to the legal team of Dallas Cowboy’s running back Ezekiel Elliott. Zeke may or may not have beaten up his girlfriend in college. Zeke’s college girlfriend may or may not have blackmailed him and lied about getting beat up. Zeke definitely 100% went to a St. Patrick’s day parade and pulled down a woman’s shirt. However the details of this case have really been lost in the fact that Zeke has been suspended and unsuspended about 20 different times this season. Every time the NFL’s is going to get its way and take Elliot out for 6 games, Zeke’s team of lawyers finds another way to appeal and keep him on the field. Its now looking like week 10 his suspension will start but who knows what tricks Zeke’s Lawyers have up their sleeves. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jerry Jones calls Donald Trump himself to get the president to write an executive order to keep Zeke on the field. We have not seen a Running back’s legal team have such a great season since OJ Simpson’s squad back in 1995.
Winner: Ezekiel Elliott
4. Injury of the year
The NFL has injuires every year, but never has their been so many significant players have their seasons ended by injury. Starting with the first game of the year when pro bowl safety Eric Berry went down for the Chiefs to last Thursday when Dick Sherman tore his achilles. At this point there are more injured players staring in commercials than healthy players. If the rate of injuries keeps up at this pace we will end up with a super bowl featuring Nick Foles vs Case Keenam.
With so many players to choose from for this award its tough to go wrong. However I’m giving it to Aaron Rodgers. Here’s why Aaron is the best Injured player, he was screaming and cussing out Anthony Barr after Barr hit him and broke his collar bone. His team has been horrible since he left, Brett Hundley looks like a teenager who won a ‘who wants to replace Aaron Rodgers contest.’ But mostly why Rodgers deserves this award is think about how Aaron Rodgers is spending his recovery time. His movie star girlfriend broke up with him this offseason, and his family hates him and won’t speak to him. Poor Aaron is probably all alone playing solitaire on his Iphone for the next 2 months and for that reason I am giving him the injury of the year award, out of sympathy.
Winner: Aaron Rodgers
5. Press Conference of the year
I’m a big fan of NFL press conferences. They usually involve a lot of coaches and players lying, using cliches, and explaining in an angry tone why they won or didn’t win. Their have been many great press conference moments so far this season but the winner has to be Chuck Pagono. First off I can’t understand which is more amazing, the fact the Colts lied and said Andrew Luck was going to be ready for week 1, then placed him on IR in week 9 having never played a down in 2017. The fact the Colts have somehow found a way to win 3 games this year even though their team is a train wreck, or the fact Chuck Pagano still has a job. After a week 1 blowout loss to the Rams, who are a team that plays in Los Angeles, Chuck Pagano said his team “got our asses kicked and credit the 49ers” which is a team that plays in San Francisco. Pagano is a master of the coaching press conference cliche, but this was almost unbelievable that he spent a whole game getting destroyed by a team then couldn’t even remember which team beat his. Bless you Chuck Pagano, I hope your remaining months weeks days as an NFL head coach are enjoyable.
Winner: Chuck Pagano
6. Tank of the year
No coach will ever admit it, but sometimes it is better to lose than win in the NFL. If your team is not going to win the super bowl why not set your team up for success in the future with a top draft pick? Usually this will be a team without a quality starting QB looking to get a top 3 draft pick and take their future franchise leader. The early season favorite for tank of the year was the Jets who started the season 0-2. The Jets went into the season with the plans to start Josh Mcgown at QB which is the most obvious ‘we are looking to lose as many games as possible’ move a team could make. But after their 0-2 start the Jets are 4-3 putting themselves just outside of the playoff picture. Classic Jets, they can’t even tank right.
The real winner of this award is a complete shock from the beginning of the year, the other team in New York, the Giants. At the start of 2017 the Giants looked like a team about to make the leap into super bowl contention. Then everyone remembered their head coach is Ben Mcadoo. After 8 games the entire team hates the cyborg sent to drag this team into a 2-14 season, Ben Mcadoo, but he’s done his job exactly how he should, lose as many games as possible. The whole Giants team hates Mcadoo so much that whoever they bring in as the next coach they players are going to love simply because he isn’t Ben Mcadoo.
The Giants prove again why they are the model franchise in New York. While the Jets mess around and go 7-9 the Giants will have a top 3 pick and set up their franchise for the next 15 years of super bowl runs just like they did 13 years ago when they drafted Eli Manning. The Jets really need to get it together and hire Ben Mcadoo after the Giants fire him so he can lead them to a 2-14 record and get a top draft pick also.
Winner: New York Giants and Ben Mcadoo
7. Practical Joke of the year
LOL I love a good joke, you know who else loves a good joke, Bill O’brien. haha remember the time LOL the ole prankster Bill O’brien started Tom Savage at QB in Week 1 even though the Texans drafted Deshaun Watson. LMAO LOL Bill you are hilarious!! The rest of the league is gonna have a tough time topping that prank by the end of the year. Everyone in the Stadium and around the world was laughing so hard we didn’t stop until right before halftime. After halftime Bill stopped joking around and put in Watson but that first half sure was a hilarious prank by mr. humor himself Bill O’Brien LOL
Winner: Bill O’Brien
NFL Picks Week 10
All lines used from the Westgate Las Vegas Supercontest
Rams -12
Cowboys +3.5
Jags -4
Rams -12
It took me 10 weeks but I finally believe in the Rams. The Rams are the number 1 scoring offense in the league averaging almost 33 points per game. The Rams this year almost look like the Falcons from last year, that no one saw them coming and no one has found a way to slow them down. LA has been blowing out teams all season and I am finally going to profit from them. The Rams are in LA where no one cares or goes to their games. That doesn’t matter here because they are playing against the Texans who are starting Tom Savage at QB after Deshaun Watson tore his ACL in practice. Bill O’brien is about 2 more weeks away from realizing Tom Savage isn’t going to win a game this season and until lets all be thankful and go against the Texans
Cowboys +3.5
Loyal readers know I am a Falcons fan and loyal friends know that’s not true actually I’m a psychopath who can’t be around other humans directly before, during, or after a Falcons game. It is tough for me to be unbiased but if the Falcons are going to be terrible and lose this season I am going to profit off of it. The Falcons defense has been terrible compared to their super bowl run last year. They can’t stop the run or force turnovers which is the two things you need to do to beat Dallas. The Cowboys have been on fire the last 3 weeks, and part of that is the play of Ezekiel Elliot. Zeke is finally suspended at least for the next 4 games but I think even without him the Cowboys will be able to move the ball on the Falcons.
The Cowboys defense has been better recently as well after they got back whatever D-linemen who has suspended for the start of the season (I don’t know if this is true but it is customary in Dallas to have at least 1 defensive player start the season with a suspension for breaking the rules.) The Falcons offense has had trouble in the red zone and has been willing to settle for field goals. There will be more of the same Sunday for the Falcons even if they are at home.
(also just a personal side note: The Cowboys are a great team and fun to watch, BUT I hate the Cowboys; especially Jerry Jones. So even though I am picking them this week I think its important to remember Jerry Jones is a contradicting POS who once called Greg Hardy “one of the real leaders” of his team. Screw him.)
Jags -4
I was ready to take Jacksonville last week and got scared right before gametime when it was announced Leonard Fournette was inactive. Not this time, I am making the Jags my best bet of the week. The Jags offense will never be what the Rams are, but with their defense, they don’t need to be. Jacksonville’s defense is the best in the league and its not even close. They’ve been nick named the “Teal Curtain” which is probably the greatest nickname in sports right now. How can you not love guys like Jalen Ramsey telling one of the best receivers in the NFL that he’s soft and weak.
What is scaring gamblers off of taking the Jags is well they’re the Jags. If this defense was playing in Pittsburgh, half of them would already be inducted in Canton. The best part of this bet is they are playing the Chargers who are traveling all the way from LA to play a morning game. Say no more I’m all over the Teal Curtain. This spread should be a touchdown or more and sooner or later the betting public will realize the Jags defense is legit. I like Jacksonville by double digits in this game.
Record to date (when taking the Jags): 1-0
Thank you to everyone for reading. Be sure to check out Bart’s Best Bets for college picks and come back next week for more NFL. Happy Week 10 everyone and remember don’t let your life get in the way of your football.
Double COVERage 