"Hollywood has a way of making everything seem like an overnight success." - Dean Spanos
Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 13th straight week. Welcome to NFL Sunday.
Welcome to Week 13 in the NFL. The Philadelphia Eagles are unbeatable and there’s absolutely no chance they choke in the playoffs and their fans are all incredibly disappointed. Bill Belicheat waved a magic wand and suddenly the Patriots defense, which was ranked dead last in yards allowed after Week 5, is somehow the best in the AFC. And Jerry Jones has all of a sudden vanished out of the public eye and stopped making headlines after his team has taken a dump on the field the last 3 weeks.
This really is the time of the season when the contenders separate themselves from the pack. Teams that will make the playoffs trending upward (the Chargers) teams that will miss the playoffs and are an embarrassment to their city and their fanbase, trending downward (the Chiefs). The usually suspects are looking to represent the AFC with the Patriots and the Steelers. While the NFC has at least 7 contenders who would not be a surprise to win the conference. One surprising thing about the NFL playoff picture after 12 weeks is, it looks like both teams from Los Angeles will make the playoffs. If this were to happen it would truly be an embarrassment to every other NFL city besides Cleveland. How could a city that could care less about professional football end up with two teams in the playoffs?!
For years Los Angeles has been the place every NFL team threatens to move to. If an owner wasn’t getting a good deal on a new stadium? Threaten to move the team to LA, and boom there’s a new stadium deal. After years of empty threats, two NFL teams up and moved to LA. First the Rams moved making Stan Kroenke the most hated man in the state of Missouri since Jesse James. Then the Chargers followed making Dean Spanos the most hated man in San Diego since Ron Burgundy said “Go F*** yourself San Diego” Both of these teams are playing to undersold, sub par stadiums with the promise of one day building a 2.6 billion dollar stadium, that LA fans can fail to fill to capacity.
This season the Rams have been a surprise to the league from the start. They hire Sean McVay this offseason, a coach so young he probably still get ID’ed going to an R rated movie. With the help of defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, Mcvay and the Rams are leading the NFC West with a 8-3 record. Still the Rams have yet to even compete attendance wise with college football in LA . The Rams have a flashy offense that can put up 30 points on anyone in the league, and a defense led by a future hall of fame coordinator and one of the best linemen in the league, Aaron Donald. At this pace the Rams will be hosting a playoff game over Wildcard weekend, and most likely there will be tickets available.
The Chargers also moved to LA at the start of this season after only a short move from San Diego. Unlike the Rams, the Chargers had no plans on where to play and just sort of asked the Rams if they could play in the new 2.6 Billion dollar stadium once its built. The Chargers owner Dean Spanos decided to move the team north when the city of San Diego refused to give him enough money for a new stadium. So because he didn’t have a new stadium in San Diego he moved his team to LA where he also doesn’t have a new stadium, but his friend Stan Kroenke has one so he’s gonna borrow his. Basically Dean Spanos is an 18 year old who just graduated high school and asked his parents to buy him a new house. When his parents refused to buy him a new house he decided to move to LA with his buddy Stan and ask him if he can stay in his house. Stan agrees but Stan’s house won’t be ready for another 3 years. Instead of tucking his tail between his legs and returning home to live in his parents basement until Stan’s house is finished, Dean decides he’d rather live in a cardboard box on the street in LA than move back in with his parents in San Diego. What is this cardboard box Dean Spanos is living in? The Stubhub center. Which is a 25,000 seat arena made for a professional soccer team. Each week in LA the Stubhub center is filled with over 50% of fans of the other team. For a game against the Eagles this year the Chargers actually had to use a silent snap count, something that is usually done on the road in a hostile environment. This horrible lack of planning means the Chargers are stuck in a cardboard box of a soccer field that is filled with fans of the other team for another 3 seasons. What a great football town LA is!
Before I go on any farther trashing the city of Los Angeles I should say, I do not know much about it. About 90% of what I know about LA comes from watching all 8 seasons of Entourage and the Entourage movie. Based on that information I understand LA is a gigantic city where everyone looks like an underwear model, famous people from movies and tv shows are constantly running into each other, and beautiful women are easily willing to get naked at any moment. Other than that, the other thing I noticed about LA while watching Entourage; there is a lot of activities to do in LA that don’t involve watching football. Never once during the entire 8 seasons of Entourage did Vince and the guys decide to stop what they were doing to head down to the LA Coliseum to watch some USC football. They usually were too busy drinking and partying with extremely attractive women.
But why would anyone in LA want to go watch a professional football game? A huge city, right by the beach, that offers any activity imaginable. Los Angeles is home to museums, concert venues, amusement parks, movie tours, national parks, dozens of beaches, all of which are can be done in weather that is 70-100 degrees, 12 months a year. On a December weekend in LA there are dozens of different activities to do that don’t involve spending 4 hours in traffic to watch a game for 3 hours then drive 4 hours back in traffic. Wanna guess what there is to do on a December weekend in Pittsburgh? Sit next to a fire and try to stay warm until the Steeler game starts. If you’re lucky you know a guy who knows a guy and can get you a ticket to Heinz Field for less than $200 so you can freeze your butt off outside watching the game. If not you can sit by a fire and watch the game because they probably don’t even have indoor heating in Pittsburgh. The people of Pittsburgh aren’t obsessive about the Steelers because they are crazy maniacs. They’re obsessive because there isn’t anything else to do in Pittsburgh besides stay warm and watch the Steelers.
Its impossible for people to be truly passionate about sports when they live in a city that has perfect weather year round and is right next to a dozen beaches. The LA fans don’t care about the Chargers or the Rams because they don’t HAVE to care about the Rams or the Chargers. People in Pittsburgh HAVE to care about the Steelers, they have nothing else. As long as LA has 365 days of sunshine a year and endless amounts of activities that don’t involve football; it doesn’t matter if the undefeated Chargers are playing the undefeated Rams in the Super Bowl, people in LA would rather go surfing than watch.
LA is a bad sports town and it will never be good. I would bet any amount of money that if you took a survey of fandom LA sports fans, 50% of them would think Kobe Bryant still plays for the Lakers. If there is one thing LA sports fans are known for its supporting the Lakers. Even if it means ignoring the fact that their most beloved player in the last 25 years was accused of committed rape. This season the LA Lakers are retiring not one but both of Kobe’s former numbers. If there ever were a perfect ending to a narcissistic, ball hog, who’s teammates all hated him’s career it would be to have more than one number retired. I guess in the end the one redeeming quality about LA sports fans is their ability to forget. Like how they forget they have 2 professional football teams and forget to attend their games every week. Or they forget their most beloved basketball player was accused of committed rape.
(did you really think I was gonna write a whole blog about the city of Los Angeles and not mention the fact that Kobe Bryant was accused of committed rape?!?! LOL people dont forget Kobe is a horrible person and overrated.)
NFL Week 13 Picks
All lines used from the Las Vegas Westgate Supercontest
49ers +3.5
Falcons -3
Seahawks +5
49ers +3.5
The Jimmy Garoppolo era finally begins! At the beginning of the year I thought it would be in New England but apparently avocado Ice Cream turns you into superhero who can play into your 50s. Either way the most handsome QB of all time, Jimmy G is finally getting his chance.. for the 1-10 Niners. Regardless of how bad the Niners have been this season, any time a change is made at QB, there can be a momentum spark for the team. That momentum can be bad, in the case of the Giants who look to be giving up on the season. In the case of the 49ers it looks to be good as clearly Jimmy G is the best QB on their roster. This will be the first time all season the Niners will have the better QB in a matchup. Chicago has been good at home this season but the Niners have been amazing at keeping games close on the road. The Niners have had 4 games on the road this year where they lost by 3 or less. Sunday the Niners and Jimmy G are gonna have a chance to win this game and if they don’t they will at least keep it close.
Falcons -3
I don’t like to bet on my Falcons. Last season I stayed away from them every week while they did nothing but destroy teams every week in December en route to a Super Bowl run. It was a magical season for me as a fan but what did I have to show for it? 0 dollars that’s what. Not this year. My Falcons have won 3 in a row and are starting to look like the team that steam rolled through the NFL last year. This Sunday they are at home against the Vikings who are having a magical season of their own. The Vikings defense may be one of the top 3 in the league but I feel very comfortable going against Case Keenum on the road. I’ve said before, Case Keenum has to start playing bad eventually. I refuse to believe on a neutral field Matt Ryan v Case Keenum would be a pick em. Give me the Falcons, Matt Ryan, and Julio Jones at home any day over the Vikings, Case Keenum, and Adam Thielen any day. (Side note: its a guarantee me getting confident in the Falcons at this point in the season will lead to me being sad and disappointed in the future, stay tuned)
Seahawks +5
The 10-1 Eagles have been the best team in the NFL all season. At home, on the road, indoors, outdoors, morning games, primetime games, running the ball, passing the ball, offense, defense, 1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish. The Seahawks on the other side are 7-4 and without two of their best players on defense Kam Chancellor and Richard Sherman. On offense the Seahawks can’t run the ball and their leading rusher on the season is QB Russell Wilson. This game on paper looks like another easy W for the Eagles. But this will be the biggest test the Eagles have faced all season. Seattle is still the toughest place to play in the league. Also even with injuries the Seahawks still have their most important players on each side of the ball Russell Wilson and Bobby Wagner. Wilson has put the offense on his back all season. He always seems to keep his team in games or even in plays. With a tough home crowd behind him on Sunday night I expect Russell Wilson to put his team in position to win the game. Even if he doesn’t win I expect Seattle to keep it closer than a TD.
Record to date: who cares the Falcons are going back to the Super Bowl
Thank you to everyone for reading. Be sure to check out Bart’s Best Bets for college picks and come back next week for more NFL. Happy Week 13 everyone and remember don’t let your life get in the way of your football.
Double COVERage 