Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for 2 straight weeks. Welcome to NFL Sunday.
"When you have all the free Hooters and Corona you want, what else could you need?" -Jon Gruden
Week 1 of the NFL in the books and having football back in your life is an indescribable feeling. So many happy familiar feelings like the Browns somehow managing to not win a game, Detroit Lions fans realizing life is hopeless, or Aaron Rodgers ripping the hearts out of an entire team and fanbase. Sunday was filled with some great games but none better than the Primetime matchup of Chicago and Green Bay. DA Bears came out and dominated the first 3 quarters on the back of their most recent trade acquisition Khalil Mack. The Bears defense looked like they were ready to roll through the league after holding the Packers to to just a field goal through 3 quarters and securing 2 turnovers, including a Pick Six from Mack. By the time Bears fans had dusted off their 1985 Jackets and hats, Aaron Rodgers returned in the 4th quarter and proceeded to rip out the hearts of every man women and child in Chicago. The Packers ended up winning but the Chicago defense has people excited. Any time a defenders name is trending on twitter during a game it either means its Marcus Peters and he lost his mind and starting throwing flags at people, or that player is having a dominating performance. Khalil Mack had himself one of those nights Sunday.
If you’re an Oakland Raiders fan, Khalil Mack’s Sunday night performance was nothing new. Mack has been dominating offensive lines in Oakland since he entered the league in 2014. He’s made pro bowls, all pro teams, and even won the defensive player of the year in 2016. So why would Oakland trade a player who is clearly one of the best at his position in the league? Enter Jon Gruden, you may know him as the happiest man on earth who spends a majority of his time drinking Coronas, eating at Hooters, or watching Monday Night Football games. The Raiders coach who’s first major decision as head coach was to trade the all pro Linebacker to the Bears. Jon Gruden spent the last 8 years watching every team in the league up close calling games on Monday Night Football. With all that exposure to NFL teams Gruden should know most teams don’t have a pass rusher as great as Khalil Mack, yet Gruden shopped Mack around to 6 teams before sending him to the Bears. What did the Raiders get in return for Mack? A whole bunch of draft picks? Life is tough as a Raiders fan when you’re hoping ‘first round pick 2020’ gets a sack every Sunday.
Life can’t get much harder on a football fan in Oakland. Not only did your team just trade the best player on your defense but in two years your team is moving (again) to the desert in Las Vegas where people only care about who’s gonna cover the spread (trust me I know). Oakland has been a great football fan base, the Blackhole is home to ‘the most notorious fans in the NFL.’ How do they get rewarded? By having to watch home games in a baseball stadium. While Minnesota, Atlanta, and LA are all getting brand new state of the art billion dollar stadiums; the Raiders are stuck watching a team they know will leave in two years. The Raiders and Oakland would be like if a married couple agreed it wasn’t working and decided to get a divorce, but lets still live together for 3 more years since neither of us can afford a new place. I’m sure that situation has happened, but no chance it ended well. And the man Oakland has hired to make the smooth transition is busy signing old washed up players to the oldest roster in the league.
Being a charismatic football coach can do a long way but Jon Gruden has made a career off of his personality. Once he retired the first time he made millions off of Corona, Hooters, and MNF. Still a 10 year 100 million dollar contarct was too much for him to pass up. So Gruden left his paradise of Hooters wings and Corona and headed back to Oakland. This contract Gruden got answered a question I have always wanted to know. If I had all the Hooters and Corona I wanted, how much money would it cost me to give that up? The answer, 100 million dollars.
Anyone who is a defender of his would argue he is putting the team in position to win in two years when they move to Las Vegas. Having an extra 2 first round picks could be huge for the teams future. Here’s the problem, the NFL draft is an imperfect system. First round picks don’t always turn out to be great players. Khalil Mack is a great player and there is no guessing about that, ask Aaron Rodgers. Think about it this way; if you won the lottery, would you take your winnings and go buy more lottery tickets? Who needs Lottery winnings though when you’re Jon Gruden? The man has all the Corona and Hooters he wants, what else could you need?
NFL Week 2 Picks
All Lines used from Las Vegas Westgate Supercontest
Titans +3.5
Vikings -2.5
Niners -6
Titans +3.5
Marcus Mariota is hurt. Left Tackle Taylor Lewan is out. The Titans lost week 1 to the Dolphins. Perfect chance for a turnaround game. Everyone expects the Titans to lose this game to the Texans and the now healthy (or is he) Deshaun Watson. Which is exactly why I love the value of Titans as a +3 point home underdog. The Titans have been great at home against AFC teams, going 5-1-1 ATS in their last 7. To top it off this is a back to back road game to open the season for the Texans. Teams that open the season with back to back road games are 0-12 ATS in week 2. Titans should be in this game in their home opener
Vikings -2.5
Aaron Rodgers is playing on one leg, and that did not stop him from leading a 24 point comeback against the Bears Sunday night. Aaron Rodgers on one leg is better than most NFL QBs on two. Vikings coach Mike Zimmer said it best when he said Rodgers “walks on water.” Regardless of how healthy he is, the Minnesota Vikings are the better team in this matchup. Aside from Rodgers, the Vikings are better at nearly every position on the depth chart. On top of that Minnesota was the best team in the League ATS last season. This game could go a long way in deciding who wins the NFC North and I’ll take the better team as a small road favorite.
Niners -6
ANYONE WHO JUMPED OFF THE JIMMY G BANDWAGON AFTER WEEK ONE STOP READING NOW YOU DONT DESERVE TO ENJOY THE HANDSOMENESS OF JIMMY. So Jimmy G threw a few picks in week one. He was also playing on the road against one of the best defenses in the league. This week Jimmy G and the Niners are back home against the Detroit Lions. How did the Lions do week 1? They were embarrassed in front of the entire country on Monday Night football, getting destroyed by the lowly Jets 48-17. There was talk in the offseason that Lions players hated new coach Matt Patricia and his Belichick style discipline. Yelling at players and acting like an A-hole really works, if you’re Bill Belichick and you have 7 Super Bowl rings. If you’re some weirdo with an untrimmed beard and a backwards hat, it doesn’t work. Niners roll the dysfunctional Lions at home by double digits.
Record to Date: 1-1-1
Thank you for reading. See you next week.
Double COVERage 