Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 4th straight week. Welcome to NFL Sunday.
Thoughts and Prayers
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the incredibly handsome Jimmy G’s 2018 season. It was a season filled with Porn star dates, and high expectations. Gone too soon was handsome Jimmy G season and yet somehow he ended up losing me picks twice. Last season the Niners started CJ Beathard for the first 11 games of the season and it went terrible. The NFL has the Niners Scheduled for 6 primetime games this season. Probably because they knew the viewing public can’t look away when handsome Jimmy is on the screen. Now the NFL is stuck with CJ Beathard sucking it up on primetime, most likely getting blown out in every game. Many people are suggesting the Niners trade for a QB in an attempt to spare the NFL viewing public from having to watch CJ Beathard start games in the NFL. I disagree, I believe the Niners should start CJ Beathard all year because he can deliver something no other QB can, a number one overall pick in the NFL draft. If the Niners really want a future where Jimmy G leads them to a Super Bowl why not take advantage of this injury and lose every game the rest of the year in order to get the first pick in the draft. Get the first pick in the draft and take Ed Oliver from Houston or Nick Bosa from Ohio State. Adding one of these stud D-linemen to San Fran who already has Deforest Buckner, is going to be a force for years to come. Commit to starting CJ Beatherd the rest of the season and the Niners might as well be on the clock for the 2019 NFL draft.
While the Niners season may be over, let’s not take too much time to feel sorry for Jimmy G. Having his season end and letting all his teammates down must be a terrible feeling. I’m sure Jimmy will be able to cheer himself up with his 137 millions dollars and a few more dates with porn stars.
“We’re onto Cincinnati”
One of my favorite early NFL season traditions is when we all as fans, media, Red Blooded Americans bury the Patriots dynasty after a September loss. Last season it was losing at home to Kansas City and Carolina. This year it’s losses to Jacksonville and Detroit. A few years ago the Patriots went to Kansas City in week 4 and lost 41-14. Every single American outside of the New England area buried the Pats, Brady, and Belichick in that order. Bill Belicheat famously went to a Microphone and repeated the phrase “we’re onto Cincinnati.” From their the Patriots went onto win the SuperBowl* (*after winning an AFC Championship game where they illegally deflated footballs, then lied about deflated the illegal footballs and also the Seahawks could have just gave the ball to Marshawn Lynch on the goal line and they win and I don’t even have to write about this part.) The Patriots have officially made it to the “we’re onto Cincinnati” part of their season. If history has taught us anything its that the Patriots will come out this week and smack the Dolphins by 30 this week and go on to make the Super Bowl. I’d be a fool to tell you anything besides that will happen.
I’m taking a knee in protest of the Falcons Defense sucking
Last Sunday I had to witness an absolutely horrific event. I was forced to watch my Atlanta Falcons lose in OT against the New Orleans Saints. Nothing is worse in sports than a player intentionally trying to injury another player. The Head Coach of the Saints, Sean Payton, once had a locker room where he allowed players to pay each other to intentionally injure players from the other team. It is absolutely horrible that this man was allowed to keep his job. Unfortunately for the Falcons have lost 4 defensive starters to injury for the season. Those injuries were probably completely a coincidence but after playing the Saints it does make you wounder if all those Falcons players were intentionally injured by Evil Sean Payton and the Aints.
Whether Falcons players were intentionally injured by the Aints or not does not make it easier for the Falcons to stop someone on defense. The Falcons became only the second team in NFL history to score 37+ points at home, not turn the ball over and still lose the game. Matt Ryan also had the highest QBR of all time of a losing QB. Both Falcons starting Safteys are done for the season. If only a Pro Bowl caliber safety was available to sign at this point in the season. There was one guy, Eric Reid. You may remember him as the guy who lost his job because he took a knee with Colin Kaepernick. Thursday morning Eric Reid signed a contract with Falcons division rival Carolina. Atlanta had a chance to improve their defense but instead now I have to watch them give up 40+ points week after week. I may just take a knee in protest of having to watch the Falcons until their defense gets healthy.
NFL Week 4 Picks
All Lines used from Las Vegas Westgate Supercontest
Bengals +4
Raiders -2.5
Lions +3
Bengals +4
The Falcons are still favored at home in this game because they do have a high powered offense, but as I stated above their defense really is in trouble. Cincinnati has not had trouble moving the ball all season, putting up point totals of 34, 34, and 21. Even with some key Bengal players banged up their offense will have no trouble moving the ball on the Falcons. The Bengals defense has given up points also which means this game will most likely be a shootout, not a blow out. The Falcons have played in these type of shootout games plenty of times during the Matt Ryan era. The Falcons definitely have a good chance to win this game, but in the type of game where who ever has the ball last is most likely to win, I like the team who is getting the extra points.
Raiders -2.5
The 0-3 Raiders are looking more and more like a disaster with Jon Gruden taking over this season. This Sunday they take on Baker Mayfield and the Cleveland Browns. The Browns are coming off their first win in 635 days last Thursday night. In that win Baker Mayfield replaced Tyrod Taylor and lit the world on first leading the Browns to a come from behind win. The NFL world is fired up about Baker Mayfield and with good reason, but he is making his first career start on the road. Last week he did look great but he did not have a TD pass and his comeback was against the Jets, who might be terrible. The Raiders might be 0-3 but they have been ahead in every game in the second half. The Raiders are going to play like a desperate team who feels like they must win a home game against the lowly Browns. Baker Mayfield may lead the Browns to greatness one day but not on the road in his first start against a desperate team trying to save their season.
Lions +3
The Lions opened the season with maybe the single worst performance in the history of football on Monday night at home against the Jets. The Lions looked as if they had quit on the 2018 season before the 4th quarter of the first game started. Since then the Lions have actually been pretty decent. They were able to comeback and backdoor cover against the Niners in week 2. Then last Sunday they beat Matt Patricia’s old boss Bill Belichick and the Patriots in Detroit. Maybe the Lions aren’t as bad as the Jets made them look. Dallas is coming off a loss in Seattle where they lost Linebacker Sean Lee to injury. As soon as Lee left the game the mediocre Seahawks offense was able to move the ball all day on the Cowboys. Dak Prescott on the other side of the ball is incapable of throwing for 200 yards. Dallas is a mess and will struggle to move the ball against even a decent defense. The Lions will keep it rolling this week while the Cowboys need to look for answers.
Double COVERage 