I’ve been trying to think of a nice intro piece to put into the blog for about a week now, but I really haven’t been able to think of anything. I finally figured out why: I’m just so dang excited for football (Nebraska and Miami especially) that I can’t think about anything else! Instead of giving you some lame intro (those are coming, long season), I’ll explain how Bart’s Best Bets are going to work this season. Each week I will give you my five favorite College Football picks. They will be either against the spread (ATS), straight up (moneyline), or over/under (totals). This week, my five bets include three picks ATS and two totals. I start with a Thursday Night Special and end with a Sunday Night Shootout (fingers crossed).

Before we get to the picks, just a quick reminder, I don’t actually gamble real money, because gambling is illegal in Nebraska. If I could gamble legally, these would be the picks I would go with. All of the lines and totals are set at time of publishing (odds coming from oddshark), and will not change as the week goes on. So get’em while their hot! Here we go,  Bart’s Best Bets Baby!

Thursday, August 31st

Oklahoma State (-18) v. Tulsa

You guys didn’t think I’d make you wait until Saturday did you? Heck no, we’ve got ourselves a Thursday Night Special! 17.5 looks like a pretty large number, especially for an opening game, but I really like Oklahoma State in this spot. Oklahoma State is ranked 10th in the preseason polls and I honestly think they could be closer to 6th or 7th. Mason Rudolph had a fantastic year last year and I look for him to have an even better one this year. The Cowboys also return their best wide receiver and running back from last years 10-3 team. Their defense isn’t near as good as their offense, but I don’t think that matters too much in this one. Tulsa was also 10-3 last year, but they lost their quarterback and two of their top receivers from that team. They lost quite a bit on defense as well, not that their defense last year was anything great. I wouldn’t normally take this high of a number, but an opening night game at Boone Pickens against an inferior in-state opponent is too hard to resist.

Friday, September 1st

Colorado State (+4) @ Colorado

The first thing to note with this game is that it is not actually in Boulder, it’s being played at Sports Authority Field (didn’t they go bankrupt?). So you can go ahead and forget home field advantage. A lot of people will probably be siding with Colorado and the relatively small number because of the great year the Buffalos had last year, but not so fast. They lost not only their starting quarterback, but they also lost a ton of their defensive players to the NFL Draft. I guess that’s what happens when a team has a good season, they go to the NFL, where they can actually get paid (don’t get me started). Colorado State played a game last Saturday against Oregon State, and they looked VERY good in the 2nd half. I think Colorado comes out rusty in the first half and Colorado State takes advantage early. I consider this game a toss up, and could be one of the most underrated games of the weekend. Don’t be surprised if Colorado State wins this thing straight up.

Saturday, September 2nd

Michigan (-5) v. Florida

This game is going to be awesome, at least that’s what I first thought when I saw that these two teams were playing. Then I found out that 8 (scratch that, 10 now) of Florida’s players including their best offensive weapon (Antonio Calloway) will be suspended for Saturday’s game against the Wolverines because of an off-season credit card scandal (huh?) and marijuana charges. Add that to their coach not having named a starting quarterback yet and you’ve got a rather large problem, no matter who you are playing. Michigan lost a TON from last years team to the NFL Draft, especially on the defensive side of the ball, and they also haven’t named a starting quarterback yet. The only advantage Michigan has is that their players stayed out of trouble this off-season (or at least didn’t get caught). Ol’ Harbaugh probably had them drinking whole milk and watching film on the weekends. Florida is going to be a really good team this year once they get all their players back and the quarterback situation figured out, but they are running into Michigan at the wrong time. Give me Jim “Milk Man” Harbaugh and his bunch by at least a touchdown on Saturday.

LSU v. BYU UNDER 47

Wait, BYU is 1-0 already? I didn’t even know they played a game last Saturday! Well that’s probably a good thing you didn’t watch because it was a terrible game! BYU v. Portland State (who?). BYU should blow their doors off with their starters showered and laying on their couch by the start of the fourth quarter, right? Wrong. They squeaked out a 20-6 against a team they should have hung at least 50 on. Sure, they might have been looking ahead to this week’s game against LSU, but that’s still not a good enough excuse. LSU should win this game, but I’m not going to lay 17 points on my boy Coach O and the Tigers. This game was supposed to be in Houston, but because of obvious reasons, they moved the game to the Superdome in New Orleans. I think LSU will be able to score on BYU, but I think LSU’s defense will shut down BYU’s offense. I know, I hate betting on unders too, but I see this game in the 24-10 range.

Sunday, September 3rd

Texas A&M v. UCLA OVER 56.5

Here’s the deal, I don’t know too much about either of these teams. Here’s what I do know: both coaches are officially “on the hot seat” and neither team is particularly good at defending offenses. I am confident that this game will be a shootout and will go over 56.5 by at least 7-10 points. Let’s be real here, the only reason I am taking this game is because it’s on Sunday (gotta fight those Sunday Scaries with something), and I’ve already had to suffer through one under this weekend, I’m definitely not rooting for two. When in doubt, bet the over, that’s what I’m doing here.

I hope you guys enjoy five straight days of football (yep, there’s a game on Monday) and have a FANTASTIC Labor Day weekend! I am irrationally confident in all of these picks and I hope you are too. Either way, I’ll be back next weekend with five more picks. DaveCh999 will also have his NFL picks for week 1!

FOOTBALL IS BACK! (Love you guys)

Ever been in a long distance relationship? Spent a long period of time away from someone you love? Talking to them on the phone but going to bed at night and waking up in the morning with an empty aching feeling because you can’t see them. That’s exactly how I feel every June after the NBA finals all the way until September when football starts. Welcome to the Double COVERage NFL preview.

Let’s go ahead and start by addressing the 25 point lead hundred pound elephant in the room. The Super Bowl was one of the worst days of my life even though I twice predicted the Falcons to blow it. I’m well aware of the fact the Super Bowl is the most watched television program every year, but I did not realize how many people knew I was a Falcons fan until after Super Bowl 51. One of the worst parts of living in this post 28-3 blown lead world I am living in is having casual acquaintances (and casual football fans) asking me “what did you think of the Super Bowl?” Now think about that question for a second. what did I think of the Super Bowl. Am I allowed to ask someone, ‘what did you think of your divorce?‘; ‘what did you think of your recent dogs death?‘; or maybe ‘what did you think of your house being robbed?’ When asked about how I felt after the Super Bowl I usually just respond with ‘well I only wrote 2 drafts of a suicide note before I decided it was a bad idea.’ And yes the awkward silence that follows is almost as awkward as Matt Ryan’s gatorade commercial

But…. seriously how do I feel about the Super Bowl. I have still NOT rewatched the game and I don’t know if I ever will be able to. I now live life in a constant fear of the number 28 or 3 or any combination of numbers that can be added, subtracted, multiplied, divided, twisted, melted down, or constricted in any way to equal the number 25. The Falcons have a stacked roster this season but who knows. Maybe they go 8-8, and miss the playoffs due to a string of bad losses because of some 28-3 shell shock. All I know for certain is there is now a good chance 30 years from now I’m going to be laying on some therapists couch saying; “if they just kneel 3 times after the Julio catch and kick a field goal none of this would have happened.”

Other things have happened since the Super Bowl besides me learning to live with depression. The most incredible NFL news this offseason is that former Bills Running back/murder suspect OJ Simpson was granted parole and will be out of prison in October. Which is amazing timing considering we are in an OJ Simpson pop culture renaissance. Thanks to 30 for 30, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dave Chappelle, now people who were not old enough to remember the infamous OJ murder trial have a real understanding of who this guy was pre incarceration. Some of my favorite takes this summer have been ‘what is OJ Simpson going to do when he gets out of prison?’ The guy is 70 years old, he’s gonna go down to Florida and sleep like every other retired 70 year old. It is an interesting question though, if 70 year old OJ Simpson were to get out of prison and back into the public eye what would he do? Even though they will probably never happen I made a short list of my dream future OJ Simpson return to fame scenarios.

1. Manager for the younger Kardashian girls.

   Now I live my life actively trying to not learn the names of the youngest Kardashian girls. Every time I see their name in a news story I quickly shut my eyes like I’m Indiana Jones in the last scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. But I know this much, Their are 2 younger Kardashian relatives who’s father is formerly known as Bruce,  and they have 1 billion instagram followers each. Now just imagine if a former close family friend stepped in to guide the young girls through the trappings of handling fame in Hollywood. Better yet picture OJ Simpson and Caitlyn Jenner in a reality show, it’d be so great you couldn’t look away.

2. President Trump names OJ Simpson White House communications director

   I don’t actively follow politics that closely but I do have an internet connection so I see these crazy people that Donald Trump appoints to power positions who’s main job it is to not say anything stupid in front of cameras. And inevitably they almost always say something stupid in a room full of cameras. Now imagine if that person saying something stupid wasn’t some random white dude who’s name you’ll forget by next week and instead that man was OJ Simpson. OJ’s smooth talking skills could really be put to the test trying to spin every stupid thing President Trump says every other day.

3. OJ Simpson replaces Chris Berman as ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown host.

   The legendary Chris Berman retired last year from one of the most coveted jobs in all of sports media leaving many to question who will replace him as a staple on Sunday mornings? Sam Ponder? her name might as well be ‘hot girl sideline reporter A’ OJ on the other hand? there is a guy who can fill Berman’s shoes. Just imagine OJ Simpson on ESPN reading highlights “Aaron Rodgers absolutly murdering the Bears defense” or “Ezekiel Elliot stabs through the line for a touchdown.” the possibilities are endless.

4. OJ Simpson should fight Floyd Mayweather

   This Saturday over 4 million people around the world payed $100 to watch a 40 year old man fight a UFC cartoon character, which teaches us all a few valuable lessons. First, if people are willing to pay to watch someone who’s never boxed before but has a household name fight Floyd Mayweather, why isn’t that person OJ Simpson? Second, apparently people will still pay for a fight even if they already know Floyd Mayweather is going to win so why not have him fight someone who’s name will draw an even bigger crowd like OJ Simpson. Third, we learned people will take a person seriously, and support them,  if they just yell horrible outlandish things very loudly about their opponent and are very active on social media. Whoops nevermind we already learned that in November when President Trump was elected. Still apparently our government boxing is just a complete circus now and experience means nothing so why play it safe Floyd? Why not go after the opponent who will draw the largest PPV buy ever, Orenthal James Simpson.

 

How can you really tell football season is here?

Last Sunday I decided I needed to go to church. Mostly because I’ve built up a lot of guilt knowing I will be spending the next 20 sundays gambling and skipping church, (plus what else is there to do on a sunday morning without football). I’m ready to spend my morning attempting to become a better person and not think about football when a couple sits down a few rows in front of me wearing this. First of all; what has America come to that an Earl Thomas jersey with socks and sandals is acceptable church attire? I understand church is supposed to be a welcoming place to all but I was praying the pastor would stop his sermon and ask this idiot to leave and only come back when he figures out how to dress like an adult.

Second; what was the conversation like between these 2 people before deciding to wear the seahawks jerseys to church? “hey honey should we wear something nice to church like a tie and a dress?” “oh absolutely not! we should wear our matching seahawk jerseys on a day when the seahawks aren’t even playing.”

And finally; of course Seattle fans would show up to church wearing jerseys. Only obnoxious fan bases would wear matching jerseys to church. You’re never going to walk into church and find a pair of matching Chargers jerseys. Here is a quick power ranking of fan bases who are obnoxious enough to wear matching jerseys to church: 1. Seattle 2. Green Bay 3. New England 4. Pittsburgh 5. Dallas

 

Each summer Vegas puts out an Over/Under win total for every team in the NFL. this means Vegas predicts how many games a team will win and you can bet whether you think that team will win more or less games than the Vegas number. For example the Falcons number is 9.5, if you think they will win 10 or more games, (spoiler alert they will win way more than 10 games) then you can bet the over. Now that week 1 is fast approaching the Double COVERage team has come up with a few of Over/Under season total bets we like.

 NFL season win totals

New York Giants over 8.5 -140

One of my favorite things to look for when betting is a team that is favored to win their division but doesn’t have the highest vegas over/under number. The Cowboys have an over/under of 9.5, but somehow the Giants are a full game lower, with an easier schedule and a better defense, and a better offense, and a less anyoing fan base, (which doesn’t really factor into the over under but its important to remember that Cowboys fans are the worst.) The Giants have really put money into their defense in free agency with studs at every level including Landon Collins, Olivier Vernon, and 4th of July enthusiast Jason Pierre Paul. I believe the Giants defense will lead them to the NFC East division title and 10 or 11 wins.

New York Jets under 4.5 -150

Question: do you know who the starting QB for the Jets is this season? Neither do I! I spend more time following the NFL than almost anyone and I have no idea who they are going to start at QB this year. Mostly because I don’t think the Jets know who they are starting this year at QB. This offseason the Jets lost both Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker, meaning their best receiver will be Quincy Enunwa, who tore his ACL in the preseason. The Jets are a mess but they seem to be even more of a mess this season than normal. I guess their defense might have some good players but this is too easy to bet against a team who isn’t even trying to win. The Jets win 3 games, best case scenario.

Los Angeles Chargers under 7.5 +130

The Chargers under is the official Double COVERage bet for the 2017 NFL season. Lets start with the name, doesn’t it just feel wrong that the Chargers are now the third most popular team in the city they play in. Teams that move cities and hire a new head coach in the same year does not exactly scream franchise stability. Last season the Chargers went 5-11 but seem to have the worst luck losing close games and players with season ending injuries. Even with the move the Chargers do show some promise with a number of weapons on offense such as Melvin Gordon, Keenan Allen, and Hunter Henry. They also have a number of solid young players on defense including Joey Bosa, Melvin Ingram, and Casey Hayward. It is not hard to see why many people think the Chargers will go over 7.5 wins and make a run at the playoffs. However those people are ignoring the fact that the Chargers have a BRUTAL schedule. In fact based on records from last season the Chargers play the third hardest schedule in the NFL. The AFC West will be the toughest division in the NFL this season with the Chiefs, Raiders, and Broncos. Playing those 3 teams a total of 6 times is not the only obstacle the Chargers will have to overcome. Because of the Chargers move to LA they will have to endure this season playing in a 25,000 seat soccer stadium. I’m sold already on betting agaisnt a team playing in a soccer stadium where half the fans will be rooting for the other team, I don’t care how much Joey Bosa can bench, The Chargers will be 7-9 or less.

 

Hope you are as excited for football season as we are. Look out this week for BartSauce first week of college football season picks and the week after I’ll be back with week 1 of the NFL picks. Have a great Sunday and remember don’t let your life get in the way of your football.

And I’m back! Can you believe my wife is letting me do this again?! I had way too much fun last year to quit this blog after one season and the Double COVERage team has tons of ideas for the upcoming CFB and NFL seasons. What better way to start the 2017 blog season off than with College Football season win totals? Sure, betting on point spreads from week to week is a lot of fun, but there is nothing that compares to the excitement (and anger) that comes from betting on a team’s season win total.

Which leads me to the story I like to call: “The Most Legendary Push of All Time”. Here it goes:

Last year the Double COVERage team decided to take the Arkansas Football Team UNDER 7 total wins. We studied that team back and forth and concluded that there was no way they could win over 7 games. We were sure they would finish with a record of 5-7 or 6-6. Their best case scenario was to go 7-5, but that was VERY unlikely. Our optimism in the Arkansas football team lasted literally one week into the season. Then came the legendary win over TCU: 41-38 in DOUBLE OVERTIME. In all of the calculations we had done, we had Arkansas with a record of 1-1 after 2 games with a loss to TCU. Well, they were 2-0 and we had all but lost our bet. I’m already getting long winded, so I’ll skip to their very last regular season game, because that’s really the only one that matters. Arkansas (7-4) is headed to Missouri (3-8) and we had already accepted the fact that Arkansas was going to win 8 games and we might be the worst college football wanna-be analysts of all time. Arkansas is leading at halftime with a score of 24-7. I’m going to be honest, I quit watching. I was officially done with Arkansas football and had nobody to blame but myself. Then, my phone starts blowing up with text messages from our Arkansas Under 7 Wins group text (Yeah, we had like six people in on this bet): “Can you believe this?! Missouri is coming back!”. So I checked the score on my phone and sure enough Missouri had scored 14 points in the 3rd quarter and held Arkansas to 0 so it was 24-21 Arkansas with the lead heading into the 4th quarter. You know why this was happening don’t you? You guys should know from the CFB Championship Game that when I quit watching something (or even go to bed), good things start to happen for our bets. So I just follow the game through our group text and good things continue to happen for Missouri. They end up scoring a touchdown in the fourth quarter and again holding Arkansas to no points. Missouri beats Arkansas 28-24 and more importantly Arkansas finishes with 7 wins. Definitely not the outcome we predicted or were hoping for, but holy cow what a ride it was to get there! That, my friends is the story “The Most Legendary Push of All Time” and is a prime example of why betting season win totals is so excruciatingly exciting. We probably lost a few years of our lives last year (Thanks a lot, TCU), but we’re doing it again this year.

We did probably double the research this year and examined a lot of different teams, but we finally settled on one team we REALLY like this year. I’ll give you the three teams we decided between and why we love/hate their win totals for this season. Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride.

College Football Season Win Totals

South Florida OVER 10 wins (-110)

This one is very simple, all you have to do is look at two things: Their Schedule and their coach Coach. I know what you guys are thinking, Charlie Strong was REALLY bad at Texas, but he was put in a really rough spot. People like to forget what he did at Louisville in four seasons. He went 37-15 and led them to a bowl game every year. His last two years he had an outstanding record of 23-3, and that is why he got the head job at Texas. This guy knows how to coach football and is in a really good situation at South Florida. They return 16 starters from their 11-2 football team last year and they have a strength of schedule that ranks 110th out of 130. They might have the easiest non-conference schedule ever and all of their “tough” conference games are at home except for their last game that is at UCF. Worst case scenario is that they get a bad case of the injury bug and go 9-3 or 10-2. We think this team will go 11-1 or maybe even 12-0 if things go right. However, we did not take this one, because we would rather not watch AAC Football every single week of the season.

Oregon State UNDER 5.5 Wins (-145)

You had me at “6th toughest schedule in the nation”. This team does return 15 starters from last years team, but that team only won 4 games, and their schedule did not get any easier. The PAC12 is a very good football conference and their non-conference schedule does not do them any favors with Colorado State and Minnesota (Row the Boat!). They definitely have six winnable games on their schedule, but unfortunately most of those games are on the road. We see them going 5-7 at best, but wouldn’t be surprised if they went 4-8 or 3-9. However, we did not take this one because most of their winnable games are at the end of the season and we do not want to stress ourselves out with Oregon State for four straight weeks.

I hope you’re ready, because it’s time for me to unveil the “Double COVERage College Football Season Win Total Pick”. DaveCh999 made this bet official on Sunday, August 13th (In Las Vegas, of course). We researched this team up and down, back and forth and we couldn’t love a win total more than we love this one. We somehow even talked ten other people into taking this team as well (If you’re reading this, you’re welcome). Okay, okay, sorry for rambling, here it goes!

Miami (FL) OVER 9 Wins (-130)

Let’s start with the schedule. At first glance it looks pretty tough, but it’s actually ranked 47th toughest in the nation. They return 15 starters from last years team that went 9-4 all of their big conference games are at home except for Florida State. There’s a lot of positive things going on with this team. Schedule wise, they avoid playing both Louisville and Clemson and the Coastal division is a lot easier to get through than the Atlantic Division. Personnel wise, they have the best defense in the ACC Coastal, the best Offensive line and best receiving core in all of the ACC. Could you imagine if Brad Kaaya would have stuck around for this season?! That’s the only problem, Brad Kaaya is gone and they haven’t named a quarterback yet. Fortunately, they have two weeks of the season to figure that out until they have to go play Florida State. Whoever wins the quarterback battle is set though, with the great offensive line and receivers, all he has to do is not turn the ball over. Mark Richt knows that too, because they have been having “Ball-security meetings” with the whole team. Their big games are pretty spread out which is very important when looking at season win totals, and they only play one team that is coming off of a bye week (Georgia Tech). After going through their schedule we think they most likely lose to Florida State and trip up somewhere else along the way (Vigrinia Tech or Pitt), which puts them at 10-2. Worst case scenario being 9-3 and best case scenario 11-1. Needless to say, we’re VERY excited about the Miami Hurricanes football team this year and will be tuned in every single week. Feel free to go in on The U with us too.

I hope you enjoyed reading the first Double COVERage blog post of the year, because I sure as heck had fun writing it. DaveCh999 will post an NFL Preview in the near future and I will be back before CFB Week 1 with “Bart’s Best Bets”. Football season is ALMOST here folks, get excited.

Betting on sports is illegal in 49 of the 50 United States. Major sports networks will not mention point spreads or over/under’s during any broadcast of a game. The NCAA will not even acknowledge people bet on their games. And despite all of that every March 20% of Americans will take time out of their work day to fill out an NCAA tournament bracket. Some people even put money on their bracket with friends or co-workers. Do you know what that means? It means 20% of Americans willingly participate in sports betting without even really thinking about it. My brother plays football for a division 2 NCAA college, and that means he is not allowed to fill out a bracket.

Really its an unsophisticated tradition. Pick teams to win games based on the numbers next to their name, or the color’s of their uniforms, or whether or not you like their mascots. However you pick your bracket, trust me you’re doing it wrong.

If filling out an NCAA bracket really is gambling, why not think of your bracket the way a gambler would. Look at teams based on odds, point spreads, and past performance. Don’t know anything about gambling? Haven’t watched a college basketball game all season? Well that’s what BartSauce and I are here for. We have spent many hours this season watching endless amounts of college basketball and following point spreads. Is this because we wanted to? Not a chance, we did this for you, so you have the opportunity to educate yourself right before filling out your bracket. Pretending to know what you’re talking about when your co-workers asked how you knew the 12 seed was gonna beat the 5. We did this for you the amateur bracket picker.

The Regions:

South Region: by davech999

Odds to win the region (aka make the final 4): #1 seed North Carolina even, #2 seed Kentucky 2/1, #3 seed UCLA 5/1, #4 seed Butler 9/1, #10 seed Wichita St 10/1, #6 seed Cincinnati 20/1, #5 seed Minnesota 50/1, #12 seed Middle Tennessee St 60/1.

Let’s start with who’s going to come out on top in this region, meaning 1 of these teams is gonna win 4 games to make it to the final 4.Now the biggest mistake people make when filling out their bracket is looking at the number the team is seeded. For now look at the Vegas odds to make the final 4, Wichita State is the 4th best team in this region but because of NCAA politics are a 10 seed. Ignore the 10 seed and stick to odds when making picks.

The South is loaded and in my opinion the toughest region in the tournament. I believe any one of 4 teams could realistically make the final 4 and I wouldn’t be surprised. Let’s start with the bottom of the region because it is going to be the most competitive of any in the entire tournament. UCLA and Kentucky as the 2 or 3 seeds could easily make the final 4 and no one would blink, but on their side of the bracket is Cincinnati and Wichita state. Both teams are very capable of upsetting either powerhouse team, especially Wichita state. The number 1 seed is North Carolina and Vegas has them at even money (meaning bet $100 to win $100) for them to make the final 4. UNC’s road to the elite 8 is much smoother than whoever is coming out of the bottom of the south making them an easy pick however…

My Pick: UCLA 5/1

My Sleeper Pick: Wichita State 10/1

There are 4 things I know for certain in this world: death, taxes, Kobe Bryant was guilty of rape, and the UCLA Bruins are going to score a lot of points. Seriously their offense is as good as anyone’s in the country, just ask Kentucky when they beat them in Lexington back in December. In an elite 8 match up UNC will most likely be favored over UCLA but the Bruins are capable of running anyone out of the building.

Matchups to take advantage of:

Another common mistake people make when filling out their bracket is picking the higher seed to beat the lower seed because they think the lower number is better (I might have already mentioned this). For example most people are shocked when a 12 seed ‘upsets’ a 5 seed. In a lot of cases though its not actually an upset, like in the south region.

#12 Middle Tennessee State over #5 Minnesota: Middle Tennessee State, sounds like the school I made up to tell my friends my ‘girlfriend’ who they had never met attended and when they asked for a picture to prove she was real I couldn’t find it. But ITS ACTUALLY A REAL SCHOOL and they are actually good at basketball. You might remember last year when they ruined your bracket by beating Michigan State in the first round. They are going to beat Minnesota this year, and you don’t have to thank me for the pick because Vegas has this game as a pick ’em (meaning pick either team to win, no point spread).

#10 Wichita State over #2 Kentucky: This would be a potential second round matchup if both teams advance. If you can’t tell by now I like Wichita State. The country has seen them do it before in the tournament but what most people don’t realize this:

In the last four (4) seasons Wichita State has lost four (4) conference games. I repeat, THEY HAVE ONLY LOST FOUR (4) CONFERENCE GAMES IN THE LAST FOUR (4) YEARS. The senior class at Wichita State has lost fewer conference games than the number of tutors Coach Calipari hired to take the SAT for Derrick Rose (allegedly)

There is something to be said for a team who has established a culture of winning, and is not used to losing. Wichita is not just satisfied with winning one game and going home, they are hungry to advance. 2 years ago the then 8 seeded Shockers upset number 1 seed Kansas and I think they can do it again against the young freshman led Kentucky team.

West Region: by davech999

Odds to win the West Region: Gonzaga 3/2, Arizona 2/1, Florida State 5/1, West Virginia 6/1, St. Mary’s 7/1, Notre Dame 12/1.

The ‘West’ region actually does not have two of the best west coast teams (Oregon and UCLA) in it. Also the west region does not have a lot of depth making it tough to predict the lower seeded games. The region does have one of the worst overseeded teams, Florida State, and one of the most underseeded teams, Notre Dame, in the entire tournament. If ND was a 3 seed and FSU was a 5 I don’t think anyone would blink.

My Pick: Gonzaga +150

My Sleeper Pick: Arizona 2/1 (not much of a sleeper but I’ll be shocked if anyone besides this 2 make the final 4)

Let’s clear up some misconceptions about the Zags. First: ‘They don’t play anyone during the season’ actually they have 3 wins against teams who are in the tournament and not named St. Marys. They beat 5 seeded Iowa State, 4 seeded Florida, and the Pac 12 tournament champ Arizona (as well as beating 7 seed St. Marys 3 times). Second: ‘Gonzaga always chokes in the tournament.’  Its true that Gonzaga has never made a final 4 but very few mid major schools have. Gonzaga has made many tournament runs but never gone to the last 4. The best team they’ve had recently made it to the elite 8 before losing eventual champion Duke who happened to have a team with 3 future first round NBA draft picks starting for them, I would hardly call that a choke. Third: ‘Gonzaga is full of white players’ actually this one is usually pretty accurate, this season they are led by 7 footer (unspellable first name) Karnowski who is Polish, and white. But their real leader is Nigel Williams-Goss, a transfer from the University of Washington. Goss is incredibly light skinned but in Spokane Washington I assume he is basically Wesley Snipes.

Matchups to take advantage of:

#7 St Mary’s over #10 VCU: West coast is back

#5 Notre Dame over #12 Princeton: Princeton has made a nice run winning the ivy league which is like being voted most likely to succeed at a correctional high school. Notre Dame however is one of the few under seeded teams in the tournament, they should have been at least a 4 or a 3 seed. Notre Dame should handle Princeton and West Virginia in the second round.

#14 Florida Gulf Coast over #3 Florida State: That’s right give me the 6/1 underdog Florida Gulf Coast to upset the interstate favorite FSU. Florida State has struggled all year on the road or in neutral sites and they were way over seeded. Florida State is by far the weakest 3 seed and either way should pave an easy path for Arizona to the elite 8.

East Region: by BartSauce

Odds to win the East Region– Villanova 8/5, Duke 2/1, SMU 6/1, Wisconsin, 12/1.

I have a feeling the the first round of the region might have some of the craziest games in the tournament. With teams like UNC-Wilmington and ETSU it’s bound to get crazy. Unfortunately, cream is going to rise to the top with this region. Wisconsin could mess stuff up in the second round and beat Nova, but I don’t think that is likely to happen. In my opinion, we’re going to end up with Villanova playing against an inferior opponent in the Sweet Sixteen and we’ll have an awesome Duke v. SMU matchup on the bottom of the bracket. I like Villanova to make the Elite Eight easily. For people who know college basketball, they know SMU is a VERY good basketball team and them playing Duke is a toss up at best. Whoever wins that game has to play a Villanova team that probably hasn’t been tested since the round of 32 against Wisconsin. I’m going to go with the well rested defending champions!

My Pick: Villanova 8/5

My Sleeper Pick: SMU 6/1

I have been watching Villanova all year long and have been very impressed. They don’t blow teams out, but they the most solid TEAM in the tournament. They have every tool in the shed to defend their title. I don’t know if they will do that or not, but they come out of the East.

Matchups to take advantage of:

(5) Virginia v. (12) UNC-Wilmington: Here’s the thing, Virginia plays GREAT defense, but they go on scoring droughts worse than Southwest Nebraska in the early 2000s . UNC-Wilmington can flat out score points, but they don’t play great defense. This could be a very interesting game to watch, I think if UNCW gets out to an 8-10 point lead in the first ten minutes things could get very dangerous for Virginia.

(4) Florida v. (13) ETSU : I was on Florida early and often this year and it was paying off big time. They looked like a potentially great team for most of SEC play, but then they lost their starting center and things got rough for them. They have lost 3 of their last 4 games, including two in a row to Vanderbilt. I know they are well coached, I just don’t know how crazy I am about Florida right now. ETSU is a prime example of a team getting hot at the right time. They started out the year well, went through a lull in the middle of conference play, and then started rolling again at the end of conference play and won their conference fairly easily. I really like ETSU in this one. If there was a possible 12/13 matchup in the round of 32, I think the East Region has the best chance to get it.

Midwest Region: by BartSauce

Odds to win the East Region: Kansas 3/2, Louisville 16/5, Oregon 19/4, Purdue 6/1, Iowa State 8/1, Michigan 8/1. 

I think the major excitement in the Midwest Region is going to come in the later rounds. While there is upset potential in the first round, I think there are very exciting upsets late in this region. Two of the hottest teams in the country are in the Midwest. Those two teams are Michigan and Iowa State. Iowa State has won 10 of their last 12 and won the Big 12, Michigan has won 9 of their last 12 including a Big Ten Championship. I don’t really know what’s going to happen in the early rounds, but I think it comes down to Kansas v. Iowa State and Michigan v. Oregon in the Sweet Sixteen. After that, I wouldn’t be surprised by any combination of those four teams in the Elite Eight. I know Oregon lost their big man in the conference semifinal, but Dana Altman is a fantastic coach and will find a way to win the East Region without him.

My Pick: Oregon 19/4

My Sleeper Pick: Michigan 8/1 (They survived a horrific plane crash, ya know?)

Call me bias, or stupid, or whatever you want, but I LOVE West Coast Basketball. While I’m not quite on the Bill Walton “Pac-12: Conference of Champions” train yet, I do enjoy watching the Pac-12. Picking Kansas scares me, a lot, and I don’t know how much fire power Michigan and Iowa State will have at the end. I’ve been watching Oregon all year long and they can flat out play (especially Dillon Brooks). Again, call me whatever you want, but I’m taking Oregon to take the Midwest.

Matchups to take advantage of:

(4) Purdue v. (13) Vermont: Notice that I haven’t said anything about Purdue yet? That’s because I’m not going to waste my time about a team that’s going to get beat in the first round. Everyone (people that aren’t degenerates) just assumes Purdue will win this game with ease, but it won’t be that easy. Vermont hasn’t lost a game against December (credit to my wife for giving me that nice little stat). I’m not going to put the house on it or anything, but I love Vermont over Purdue.

(5) Iowa State v. (12) Nevada: I know that I have been raving about Iowa State, but the committee didn’t do them any favors by giving them Nevada in the first round. Nevada won the Mountain West Conference and didn’t really have much trouble through the year. They are a confident team with a couple NBA players on the roster. That spells mad news for the opponents. Good news for Iowa State, they have a couple NBA players also. This will be a fun one.

Double Coverage Picks: Saturday, April 1st 

Tournament Record to Date: 31-29-2

 

Thanks for reading and good luck with your picks! Have fun watching the game and most importantly, ZAG UP!

 

I woke up Wednesday with same attitude I do every day, angry at the world for forcing me to be up before the sun, thinking of all the possible excuses I could make to call in sick to work, and then eventually dragging myself to the fridge to grab any liquid that contains caffeine. The only thing I can look forward to at that ungodly hour is turning on the tv to watch morning sports programming, and Wednesday even that let me down. The first material I expose my brain to at 5:30 in the morning, a full report from the Westminster dog show. (Thanks a lot ESPN for failing me and many other red blooded Americans who all we count on you for is to help us start out our day by telling us about grown men playing games and instead you bring us something as ridiculous as dogs, SHAME.) It was in this moment I realized we made it to that time of year, sports hell. Where so little is going on in the sports world that ESPN is showing dogs and it has nothing to do with Michael Vick. This post Super Bowl purgatory is so bad Sports Illustrated puts out a magazine with naked boobs on the cover and for decades no one has stopped to ask ‘isn’t this supposed to be a sports magazine?’ It’s been 13 days since live football was on tv and this weekend we finally may be rescued from sports hell with the NBA All Star game. For the first time since football is over the NBA will be center stage this weekend and Stars will be on display during the 3 point contest, dunk contest, rising stars game, celebrity game, and the actual all star game, all while having no defense involved what so ever. This may be a time for the NBA to get national exposure before the end of the season playoff push but the All Star weekend is not what the NBA needs to make itself more interesting, it needs a rivalry.

‘Love trumps hate’ is a great slogan if you’re grandma who is trying make yourself relatable to hipster millennials but if you’re wondering what makes for an interesting story, hate is much more marketable.

How great was that movie where the empire and the rebel alliance met together at a negotiating table to settle their differences? What about the tv show where the regional manager and the HR guy discussed ways to make the company better? Or what about the 2 rappers who privately agreed to disagree instead of publicly airing out their issues? How much more interesting was history class during the cold war? The point is conflict is always much more interesting than harmony, and the same is true for the NBA.

The NBA has had its share of great rivalries; Wilt vs Russell, Bird vs Magic, MJ vs everyone. But in this new era of the millennial NBA we have yet to see if a real NBA rivalry is possible. The problem with the millennial NBA players is they all have personally known each other since they were in high school and sometimes before. So most of these guys have some type of relationship before they ever put on an NBA jersey and it makes it harder for them to dislike each other. There is only one plausible possibility of that changing, and it has been set in motion since last 4th of July.

Kevin Durant choosing to leave Oklahoma City for Golden State last summer set ripples through the NBA for many reasons but none are more exciting than the possibility of him and his former teammate Russell Westbrook now hating each other. KD teaming up with the team that won 73 games last year going against a psychotic competitor/human triple double machine in Russell Westbrook has all the great makings of a rivalry. Last Saturday the two faced off against each other in Oklahoma City for the first time since Durant left and the anticipation could not have been greater. The national sports media had the game circled on it collective calendar for months. The first time KD will come to Oklahoma as a visitor. Will he be booed the entire game? How will he respond to negative criticism? Will Russ literally try to fight him during the game?

The actual result was nothing like we all had hoped for. The Warriors end up winning by 16 and have the game on cruise control for most of the second half. The most interesting part of the entire contest was the Thunder cutting the lead to 18 in the third quarter and Westbrook and Durant exchanging a few words before a timeout, that’s what all the fuss was about. With that being said I am sick of waiting for KD vs Russ to turn into an actual rivalry and more just waiting for them to kiss and make up. And I don’t mean figuratively kiss and make up, I mean literally have their lips touch. After their kiss while KD is fighting back tears he can ask for Russ’s forgiveness for not calling him after he decided to join the Warriors last summer (because if you remember their whole beef in the first place was supposedly KD didn’t call Russ after he made his decision to leave OKC.)

This weekend during the all star game a lot of the lead up to the game will be centered around how Westbrook will fit in with KD and his new teammates. Will they get along on the court? off the court? Will they share their toys with Westbrook? Ignore all the noise and remember these guys are all secretly friends and will never actually fight with each other. Our hope for an entertaining basketball rivalry will not happen with KD and Russ, they are more likely to have a fashion beef.

All Star Weekend 2017 Picks

East +6.5

3 Point contest: Kyrie Irving +375

Skills Challenge: Devin Booker +500

East +6.5

Look everyone knows the all star game itself is a joke. Each team will take turns taking wide open 3’s and throwing alley oops to each other until the last 4 minutes when everyone starts playing defense slightly harder than a mannequin would and the game gets a little closer. A much more entertaining idea would be to let Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook be captains and pick players like a real pick up game since the all star game really is just the worlds most glorified pick up game. Or maybe just let Durant and Westbrook play horse, or 21, or one on one. OR better yet just cancel the game, bring out an octagon and let them go 5 rounds MMA style, I JUST WANT TO SEE KD AND RUSS ACTUALLY BEEF INSTEAD OF PRETENDING THEY ARE MAD AT EACH OTHER AND MAKING UP A FEW MONTHS LATER LIKE THEY WILL INEVITABILITY DO.

The rosters look evenly matched but the west has historically won the all star game especially as of late winning 5 of the last 6. But out of those victories only 1 of the 5 was by more than 6 points. Sounds weird to say but the East should be able to win or at least play within a few buckets.

3 Point Contest: Kyrie Irving +375

I will admit I’ve cheated my way through every science class I’ve taken since I was 16 and I don’t really remember what science class was like in elementary school. My mother is an elementary teacher though and has been for 18 years, so I asked her when kids learn that the earth is round and how many elementary kids think the earth is round. She told me that her 1st grade students learn the earth is round and she guarantees 100% of her students know the earth is round. Why am I telling you about 1st grade science? Because former all star game MVP and NBA champion Kyrie Irving thinks the earth is flat. This proves Kyrie Irving is staying a little too woke. I really don’t understand out of all the conspiracy theory’s out there that this one is catching on but for someone who spent a whole semester at Duke University to believe the earth is flat or dinosaurs didn’t exist is absolutely ridiculous. I totally understand not wanting to believe what the government or public school system tells you, and I could go on forever about conspiracy theory’s but why this one? Kyrie has clearly fell victim to the same syndrome of B.O.B., being too woke.  My theory is Kyrie smokes a lot of weed and someone he smokes weed with just told him the earth might be flat and after googling it for a few minutes he’s convinced. Of all the arguments for why Marijuana should be legalized; if we are going to end up with a society of stoned idiots who think the earth is flat I am all for keeping marijuana illegal for eternity. There is actual proof and science that backs up the earth being round and has been for 500 years. Plus how does Kyrie explain Sandra Bullock floating away in space from a round earth. RIDDLE ME THAT ONE KYRIE!!!

Oh yeah on top of being an idiot, Kyrie can also make basketballs go into hoops. I think he wins the 3 point contest.

Skills Challenge: Devin Booker +500

The Skills Challenge is basically like the carnival game of NBA all star weekend, its probably rigged and after spending all your money your pissed you played it in the first place. Like Carnival games there is very little skill required and really anyone could step up and win same is true for All Star weekend. Out of the 8 guys in this contest I think Booker has the best value at 5/1. He should be favored with John Wall and Isaiah Thomas. However just like how a girl without any hand eye coordination can step up to a carnival pop a shot and hit one, any one of these guys could get hot in the circus of obstacles and win this.

Happy All Star weekend, I’ll be back next week with more college basketball/NBA coverage, that is if I don’t fall off the flat earth between now and then.

 

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 21th straight week, Welcome to the Super Bowl.

Let’s start with this, the NFL has trademarked the phrase ‘Super Bowl’ so technically everyone besides NFL network, Fox, CBS, and ESPN is supposed to say ‘the big game’ instead of ‘Super Bowl’ and I’m so sick of hearing people dance around the phrase Super Bowl so I won’t do it here.

We finally made it to the greatest day of the year, Super Bowl Sunday. This day has always been my favorite holiday, and make no mistake it is a holiday. People gather together with friends and family, eat food that is unhealthy for them, and awkwardly make small talk about football to distract from real world problems happening around them; sounds like a holiday to me. This day has always been my favorite holiday ever since I was too old to get toys as presents for Christmas and realized a day spent drinking beer, eating wings and nachos while watching the biggest football game of the year is about the best way you can spend a day. It’s also a send off into the offseason where we will all wait 7 months to watch another live football game (unless you’re a CFL fan). For some people its about the commercials and halftime show. For others its about the game and prop bets. I usually lean on the side of game and gambling, but I love all of it. I especially love that even the people who know nothing about sports know the game is going on and might even watch part of it.

I should probably explain something before I go on, I am a Falcons fan. If this isn’t your first time reading this you might be thinking you already knew that, but trust me you don’t. I am such a die hard fan die hard is an understatement. I am such a fan that it almost goes to a religious status. Have you seen the movie Fever Pitch with Jimmy Fallon? That guy was an amateur compared to me. (What kind of fan gives up season tickets so he can have a shot at dating a minorly attractive women? Completely unrealistic.) I watch every snap every season, I live for every touchdown, and slowly die with every turnover. I have a Falcons shower curtain, a closet of Falcons t-shirts, and have had either a Michael Vick or Matt Ryan poster in my bedroom for a majority of my life.

When I started sharing my thoughts on the internet I didn’t plan on writing about the Falcons because it almost seems like having a casual acquaintance tell you about their children you’ve never met, you don’t really care. But here we are the Falcons are playing in the Super Bowl so I can’t act like I don’t have a huge rooting interest in this game. How did I become such a big Falcons fan? Long story short I make bad life decisions. I never expected the Falcons to get to the Super Bowl in the first place, I don’t think anyone did. Their odds and the beginning of the season were 100/1 to win it all and yet here we are.

So what’s the problem? It’s my favorite holiday and my team will be playing. Sounds like a perfect scenario right?! Wrong! The entire atmosphere that makes Super Bowl Sunday great is ruined for me. The fellowship, drinking, eating, and celebrating the season is put aside while I pace up and down the room pulling my hair out over the game it self. Instead of going to a Super Bowl party with friends and enjoying a day centered around football I will watch the game alone, probably on mute, (first time Joe Buck says something that is negative about the Falcons I will for sure mute the tv and tweet horribly things to him @buck) and like a psychopath talk to myself and throw things and stress myself out about a game that I’m not actually playing in. There is nothing fun about that, all the joy and relaxing Sunday atmosphere that normally is on Super Bowl Sunday will be traded in for tension and constriction all because the team who’s jersey’s I liked when I was little is playing in the Super Bowl for the first time since I was 6.

There is nothing relaxing or fun about this for me. This is a battle. I will be locked in and focused as if I were playing. Does that make me a psycho? You’re absolutely right Boom. Am I proud of this? Not at all. I really do have a problem and after reading this you agree I have a problem maybe all of you can start a gofundme and possibly pay for my future therapy. Until then I will be watching the game alone, on mute, with my phone off to avoid all possible distractions. If you believe in some kind of higher power please pray for me, and Matt Ryan.

NFL Super Bowl Pick

Patriots -3 over Falcons

Over 59

Patriots -3 over Falcons

Obviously I’m hoping I am wrong about this pick, but if my team is going to lose and crush my hopes and dreams I might as well win some money while it happens. People have had two weeks to dissect this matchup and the conclusion I made is no one really knows how this is going to play out. Actually at different points this season I said there was no way the Patriots win the Super Bowl without Gronk and I said there was no way the Falcons win the Super Bowl without Desmond Trufant. Both were pro bowlers last year and had season ending injuries so I am already wrong heading into this game. Having watched the Falcons all year I know better than anyone the Falcons offense is legit. Julio Jones is the best receiver in the NFL, Tevin Coleman, Devonta Freeman, and Pat Dimarco are the best backfield in the NFL, top it off with Matt Ryan playing like the MVP he is and the Falcons offense is playing nearly unstoppable. Even the Falcons young defense has played better holding opponents to 19 ppg during their 6 game winning streak. The biggest stat for the Falcons during their win streak is they are +12 in the turnover margin. And yet dispite all these great things the Falcons have done I, like a lot of people, have a feeling Bill Belichick will find a way to stop the Falcons and win this game. Why would anyone think differently? Everything I’ve ever known watching football is Tom Brady and Bill Belichick win these types of games (except when they play Eli Manning) and The Falcons lose these types of games. Numbers don’t exaclty support the Falcons either. The number one offense in the league is only 1-7 in the last 8 super bowls, Falcons have the number one offense. Team with the better Defense tends to win these type of games, and the Patriots have the best scoring defense in the league. I truly hope I am wrong but everything tells me the evil genius Belichick finds a way to get it done.

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Ok there’s plenty of time for me to get emotional about Matt Ryan or stress out about Tom Brady but let’s try to focus on the fun stuff, prop bets. Every year Vegas Sportsbooks release hundreds of different props to bet on during the game ranging from how many yards will Tom Brady throw for to what will Lady Gaga wear during her halftime performance. After a week of sorting through hundreds of options here is what BartSauce and I think will hit.

Bart’s Best Bet: National Anthem Under 2 minutes 9 seconds

Look guys, I’ve done plenty of research (watched 3 youtube videos) of Luke Bryan singing National Anthems before sporting events and he has NEVER went over 2 minutes. Luke Bryan is what I like to call a football guys guy, and he knows what everybody is there for, and that’s the football game. I am fully confident that he will put together a quick and clean National Anthem.

Donald Trump mentioned under 1.5 times during the broadcast

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman most definitely realize that people love sports because it’s a nice escape from reality and politics. They might mention his name once, but definitely not twice or more.

Coin Toss: Tails

You know the drill: Tails never fails.

A player other than Brady and Ryan WILL attempt a pass

Edleman and Sanu both have quarterback backrounds and trick plays are always fun, especially in a highstakes game. I really like the value on this one too at +135.

Will the word “Lacrosse” be said on the broadcast? YES.

Hey, did you guys know Chris Hogan played lacrosse?

Dion Lewis Over 26.5 receiving yards

The Patriots are 16-0 in their last 16 games Lewis has played in, and a big part of his success is catching the ball out of the backfield. The Falcons will only be trying to limit his big play ability out of the backfield but he will get his chances. Plus someone other than a white receiver has to catch passes for the Patriots at some point, its the law of the NFL.

Austin Hooper Over 11.5 receiving yards

The Falcons rookie TE isn’t exactly a major part of the game plan but all he has to do here is get 1, 12 yard catch, he’s good for at least that

Julio Jones Under 95.5 receiving yards

‘Belichick always takes away the other teams best weapon’ is a phrase all sports media loves to use, mostly because its true. Julio has been out of his mind in the playoffs and there’s a chance he goes for 200+ during this game but more likely is he is doubled. When he’s been doubled this season the Falcons have been more than content to throw the ball to everyone else in the offense.

Different Falcons players to catch a pass Over 8

Matt Ryan has been great at distributing the ball this season. Falcons set the NFL record for different players to catch a TD this season with 13. On average about 8 different players catch a pass and I think the last game of the season the Falcons will be more than willing to pull out all the stops and throw to everyone.

Chris Hogan Over 59.5 receiving yards

Seriously did you know Chris Hogan played college lacrosse?! Hogan had a huge game in the AFC championship and he could very well do the same in the Super Bowl. Mostly because he will be covered by the weaker Falcons DBs like Jalen Collins.

Times Holst will cry during Super Bowl Sunday Over/Under 1.5

no matter who wins take the over.

Happy end of football season to everyone. Enjoy Super Bowl Sunday and Go Falcons Rise UP.

Hi my name is Taylor and I have a football addiction. Welcome to the first weekend without football since August, the pain and sadness we will all be experiencing this weekend is real. Post Football Depression, or PFD, is a legitimate mental condition and should be treated with as much seriousness as we treat other conditions such as ‘Hilary didn’t win so now I need a week off of work to recover’ syndrome.

How am I supposed to spend the 25 hours this weekend that are usually filled with the excitement of watching grown men try to smash each others heads in? Should I go attempt to interact with females? Possibly take one on a date? Should I go to work and try to get a head start on Monday? Should I walk outside into the light and experience sunshine? NO WAY THAT ALL SOUNDS HORRIBLE.

The light at the end of the tunnel for this weekend is next Sunday we have the greatest holiday in America, Super Bowl Sunday, and my Atlanta Falcons are in the big game. So I will probably spend a majority of my 25 hours watching film on the Patriots because we have to know the opponent as well as we know ourselves in order to be successful.

Besides watching film there are plenty of other great sporting events on this weekend such as #2 Kansas vs #4 Kentucky in one of the best regular season matchups in college basketball and it couldn’t come at a better time to cure some PFD. The only problem is we have to sit through hours of medicore matchups like Georgia-Texas and West Virginia-Texas A&M and Trump’s press secretary-everyone on the internet; all apart of the SEC Big 12 challange presented by the weirdos from the Sonic commercials.

In fact this whole day of sub-par college basketball matchups is like watching a Sonic commercial, all you’re thinking the whole time is when is this creepiness going to leave the screen so I can get back to what I’m really waiting for. All this trash college basketball that’s on today is the fault of ESPN and Sonic. They know Kansas-Kentucky is an unbelievable matchup but they need some excuse for the two historically great teams to play each other in the middle of conference play so they introduce the SEC-Big 12 challenge presented by Sonic. Why can’t we just schedule Kansas-Kentucky in the middle of the season so everyone can just enjoy it? BECAUSE THE NCAA AND ESPN CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT MAKING IT AN OVERHYPED POOPFEAST OF TERRIBLE PROGRAMING PRESENTED BY SONIC CATERED BY APPLEBEES BUILT BY THE HOME DEPOT AND INSURED BY PROGRESSIVE.

If ESPN or the NCAA did something that made sense I think it might be too shocking for us all to handle so let’s just sit back and enjoy a little more Tennesse-Kansas State to push away our PFD. Just because Kansas-Kentucky is going to be great, doesn’t mean it has to ruin the rest of a Saturday slate of college basketball.

Weekend Picks:

Kentucky -7 over Kansas

Marshall -13 over UTEP

Pro Bowl: Over 82.5

Rafael Nadal -125 over Roger Federer

Kentucky -7 over Kansas

This really is a great matchup and potentially a preview of what we could be watching in April during the Final 4. Both of these teams have a lot in common, historically great programs with multiple national titles, great coaches who would cut off their left hand if it helped them sign a recruit, and freak of nature freshman who are sure to be one and done and lottery draft picks next season. The edge in this game is with Kentucky being home in Lexington which is why I think they will be able to win by double digits. Kansas is a great team but not especially a great road team with their only two losses on the season coming away from Allen Fieldhouse. Also despite their great straight up record KU is a pathetic 6-12 ATS this season. Rock-Chalk Why can’t we cover the spread?

Marshall -13 over UTEP

Hey that team from that one movie about the football team in the plane crash is playing that team from that one movie about how racist college basketball/America was 50 years ago. That is probably how most of America knows about these two schools so why waste a second of your time watching this crap? Because Marshall is going to win by 20. How do I know? UTEP is 5-14 this year and is in last place in the SouthwesttexasWesternwestvirginia conference (serious question why the hell are these 2 schools in the same conference? Does the NCAA own a map or is that place run by a group of chimpanzees wearing tuxedos). and they have to go on the road to one of the better teams in the conference. Easy $.

Pro Bowl: Over 82.5

We all know the Pro Bowl sucks but its all we have this weekend. It might do a tiny bit to cure some PFD and I am willing to take that chance and watch it. All week the National media has been asking “why did we elect this guy?” “what is wrong with the Pro Bowl?” I can tell you what’s wrong easily, 90% of the enjoyment of watching football is seeing the most athletically gifted people on the planet full speed smash into each other. The Pro Bowl is like watching a scrimmage where everyone on the field is treated like a QB and can’t be touched. All of this lack of hitting may make for bad football but its good for useless TDs. This season is the first time in 3 years that it will return to the AFC-NFC format, and the previous 3 times the game was in that format the game went over.

Rafael Nadal -125 over Roger Federer

Once upon a time I was sort of a tennis legend in the trenches that is the Wyoming high school tennis circuit or at least that’s how I remember it. Since then I have not picked up a racket since 2010 and have followed very little tennis professionally but I always loved to watch these 2 play. In order to make an accurate prediction for this final I called our blog tennis correspondent and indoor football/gas station enthusiast Joebin Ritzdorf, who himself was once upon a time a GPAC tennis legend. He said and I will loosely paraphrase; Rafael Nadal is having a career renaissance in this tournament and is looking like a 2005 version of himself. Roger Federer also is not playing his age and after taking some time off is in his first major final in a few years. Most people know their names but no one expected these two old guys to make it to another final, much less against each other. This very well could be the last ride for both of them and its sure to be exciting. Joebin likes Nadal in tight 5 set match over Fed and is even staying up all night to watch since the match starts at 2 AM central time, adding #Sleepisfortheweak. If Joebin is correct we can celebrate his accuracy and he keeps his job as tennis correspondent. If he is wrong feel free to send him spam/hate mail to josephritzdorf@gmail.com

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 20th straight week, Welcome to the NFL Championship Weekend.

Only 3 games left before football leaves us for 7 months and the post football season depression is creeping right around the corner. The cure to keep it away? Obsessively prepare for the NFC/AFC championship games the way all you can eat buffet chefs prepare when they hear Andy Reid is coming for dinner. Only 4 teams are left and will be playing this Sunday for a chance to reach the promised land and play on Super Bowl Sunday.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before; A man married to a supermodel, a man dating a movie star, a dog fighter, and a rapist walk into a bar… The Falcons, Packers, Patriots, and Steelers have all had great seasons and they all have something in common, they each have one of the best QBs in the league. Seriously the QBs left in the playoffs have some incredible numbers. Combined between them they have 27 Pro Bowls, 4 (soon be by 5 assuming Ryan, Rodgers, or Brady win this season) MVPs, 5 first team all pro selections, 10 (soon to be 12) conference championships, and 7 (soon to be 8) super bowls wins. I could go on and on about how great Matt Ryan, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger are but I think it would be more fun to nitpick and scrutinize them. In honer of the United States getting a new president this Friday I am going to critique each of the remaining QBs the same way we critique our political candidates; give a one sided view of them that doesn’t always have to be based in truth and unfairly judge them for their mistakes.

Tom Brady

First up in the AFC we have former 199th overall pick and known Ugg boot wearer Tom Brady. If Tom were to run for president he would have a hard time getting a vote anywhere besides New England because most people outside of Patriots fans don’t like him. The perception of Brady is he’s a cheater, liar, will do anything to win, and has a super hot foreign wife. Along with most of the country not liking him it seems Brady has quite a bit in common with his good buddy and our new president Donald Trump! Maybe he should consider running for President in 2020. If Tom Brady did run for president obviously he would be criticized  for Spygate and deflategate, and rightfully so but that’s not the reason most people should hate him. What people should be questioning is why Tom Brady left his girlfriend when she was pregnant. For those of you that don’t know before Tom was married to a supermodel he dated actress Bridget Moynahan aka the hot chick from I-robot. They dated for 3 years and right after announcing they had split up Bridget announced she was pregnant with Tom’s child and then Tom announced he was dating a Brazilian super model. So you have to ask yourself, could you vote for a president who leaves his pregnant girlfriend for a supermodel? I don’t know about president but I sure couldn’t vote for him for NFL MVP.

Ben Roethlisberger

Playing opposite Brady Sunday will be the QB for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Ben Roethlisberger. Out of all the QBs left in the playoffs Big Ben might have the toughest time getting elected into public office. The good: he plays for a historically great franchise, and he has won 2 super bowls for that franchise. Unfortunately for him, Big Ben is also known for a few other things, one not being good at operating motorcycles, and two, some sketchy situations involving him and women accusing him of sexual assault. Twice Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of sexual assalut by two different women in two different places and neither of them were in Pittsburgh. I don’t know what Big Ben has against female Steelers fans but apparently he felt the need to go to Nevada and Georgia to inappropriately come onto women. Both of these incidents were years ago and Ben has since gotten married and cleaned up his act, but since getting married Big Ben has not won a super bowl. I do not know why Ben’s wife hates winning championships but clearly Ben is a man who needs to stubble into the women’s bathroom and feel up a couple tipsy 20 year olds in order to be successful on a football field. Is that acceptable in the NFL? You’re absolutely right boom. Is that acceptable to be president? Well 9 months ago I would have said no but Trump won so who knows.

Aaron Rodgers

If you’ve turned on even a second of sports media this week then you know Aaron Rodgers is on fire, playing better than any QB in the history of football, and we should all take our first born children and sacrifice them at his feet. I mean this guy really can do it all; he has a movie star girlfriend, a super bowl ring, and an entire state of cheese eating morons ready to fight anyone who dares to speak ill of him. He raises money for starving kids in the Congo, he has funny commercials where he makes fun of himself and his touchdown dance. Who in their right mind could dislike this guy? His own parents that’s who. I don’t feel good about bringing up a public figures family affairs but if he is running for president I feel the people deserve to know! So lets start at the beginning, a year ago Aaron’s brother went on a reality show called the Bachelor (apparently its quite popular). During this weird show where cameras follow you and record everything you say, it was discovered Aaron and his brother are not on speaking terms. Months later we found out no one in Aaron’s family has spoken to him in almost 2 years including his own parents. The family feud is so serious Aaron even mailed back Christmas presents his parents sent him. Apparently the situation started when Aaron starting dating movie star Olivia Munn. Coincidentally much like Big Ben, Aaron Rodgers has not won a super bowl either since he starting dating Munn. I have no idea what Olivia Munn has against the fat good people of Wisconsin, or why she does not want them to win a super bowl, but I do know this. Any person who is unwilling to speak to his own mother is unfit to lead our country. Eminem made a song about wanting to rape and kill his mother and they even found a way to make amends. Aaron Rodgers = not trusted by his parents, not trusted by this country.

Matt Ryan

This one is gonna be easy no way this disgrace of human being could ever run for office and get elected. First he was caught with an illegal firearm, then there was the water bottle filled with marijuana on the airplane incident, and to top it off getting caught operating a dog fighting ring where he tortured and killed innocent animals!!  Not to mention all of the times his brother or cousins got him in trouble, how could anyone support this guy?! Oh wait that’s not the right QB, that was the old Falcons QB who’s name I can’t quite recall. The previous Falcons QB would have been perfect for this, but its harder to find some dirt on this new guy Matt Ryan. About the only thing you can fault him on is how boring he is. First off boring name, any white male with 2 first names has to be a boring guy. Second boring family, he isn’t married to a celebrity like Rodgers or Brady, and he doesn’t have a history of assaulting women like Roethlisberger. He is actually married to his college sweetheart, BORING!! Next lets talk about Matt Ryan’s fashion choices, Matt Ryan dresses as if he goes to the opposite stylist as Cam Newton. He dresses like his second job is substitute teaching for a high school English class.

LAME!! There has to be something this guy does that is not so cookie cutter! Earlier this season Matt Ryan gave an interview on the Rich Eisen show and when asked what he does with his free time, Matt said he and his wife binge watch Shameless. So there’s Matt Ryan’s idea of a good time, watching a tv show about fictional people’s horrible lives. Maybe Matt Ryan is just the most boring guy of all time, or maybe there is a reason he looks like a regional manager of an Applebees. Years later will we find out Matt Ryan was a serial killer this whole time? Or is his only vice in life Netflix? Either way I’ve been told never trust a man that doesn’t have a vice so there’s no way I’m voting for Matt Ryan for president either.

NFL Conference Championship Picks

All lines used from Las Vegas Westgate Superbook

Falcons -5.5 over Packers (Bart’s Best Bet)

Patriots -6 over Steelers

 

Falcons -5.5 over Packers

Hey guys, It’s BartSauce. Since DaveCh999 is a huge Falcons fan (Oh, you guys didn’t know that?), he put me in charge of picking this game because he couldn’t make a non bias pick. Well, he might as well have made the pick, because I think I’m going the same way on this game that he would have, and that’s Falcons all the way, baby.

Everyone has been all over Aaron Rodgers and the Packers ever since he made that amazing throw against the Cowboys to set up for that crazy Mason Crosby field goal to win the divisional round. Heck, I was even drooling over Rodgers until about Wednesday! Then I finally came back to earth and started thinking like the rational human being that I am (that’s debatable).

I know Aaron Rodgers is on a tear the past eight games and it seems like he is on top of the world, but do you know who’s been on a tear for 17 games straight? Ever heard of this guy? His name is Matt Ryan, and he led the NFL’s best offense this year and definitely deserves to be the NFL MVP this year. The Falcons offense completely torched Seattle’s “Legion of Boom (or bust)” defense last week and is going against a far worse and far more injured Green Bay defense this week. I don’t see Matt Ryan being phased at all, and look for him and that powerful Falcons offense to have a great day.

Here’s one more reason to pick the Falcons: It’s the last game in the Georgia Dome (RIP In Peace). You think the Falcons would walk out of that stadium for the last time without the NFC Championship Trophy? No way, no how. Fly Falcons, Fly!

Aaron Rodgers has been absolutely incredible, but it’s not going to matter on Sunday. The Falcons will make a few more defensive stops than the Packers and that will be the deciding factor. I like the Falcons to win this one with a score somewhere around 38-28. So yeah, you should definitely take the over 61 in this one too, you’d be crazy not to!

Patriots -6 over Steelers

Picking the team that has a QB and coach how has played in 6 super bowls and won 4 is actually easier than it sounds. The Patriots are 14-3 ATS this season which is incredible considering they have been a favorite in every game. The Patriots just don’t cover they also consistently cover double digit spreads, so 6 points should be easy! The Patirots and Steelers played once this season and the Pats won 27-16, but Ben Roethlisberger didn’t play. So what can we learn from that game, known pot head Le’veon Bell was held to 81 yards rushing which is his 4th lowest number of the season. The Pats being able to hold Le’veon Bell under 100 rushing yards could be huge because the Steelers are 1-4 when Bell rushes under 100 yards. Patriots coach Bill Belichick is many things, 6 time super bowl champion, friend of President Donald Trump, and known spyier of other teams practices and deflater of footballs; but of all those things coach Belichick is known for he is also known for taking away whatever the other teams best weapon is. I believe the evil genius will find a way to limit the killer bees of Ben Bell and Brown and the Patriots will go to their 6th Super Bowl with Tom Brady.

NE/PITT prop bets

As if these games needed to be more exciting casinos always roll out a number of other things in the game to bet on besides just the spread. A few of these are always easier to hit than others the problem is picking the easy ones, so here we go.

Will Tom Brady throw an INT? NO -150

Brady played in 12 regular season games and only threw 2 INTs compared to 28 TDs. Last week in the first playoff game Brady threw 2 INTs in 1 game. I think Brady got his bad game out of the way and will get back to not turning the ball over this game.

Will both teams make 33+ yard FGs? YES -110

Last week the Steelers did something no other team had done in the playoffs, they won a game on the road scoring no TDs. They did however kick 6 FGs. The Patriots also have a great kicker Stephen Gostkowski. Cold weather, good kickers, tight playoff games, I like both teams to get a longer one.

Steelers under 22.5 points -110

Unlike the NFC championship game the AFC championship game is going to be a tighter game between two good defenses. I’ve already decided the Pats are going to be able to slow down the Steelers weapons and that is because the Pats defense is one of the best in the league allowing only 16 ppg.

 

Only 3 games left, enjoy them while you can, see you next week.

 

 

 

 

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 19th straight week, Welcome to the NFL Playoffs.

Buckle up people we are knee deep in the most glorious time of year known as the NFL Playoffs and this weekend may be the best weekend in all of football. Or even the best weekend in all of sports. Or even the best weekend in the entire year!!! Christmas? New Years? 4th of July? You could combine the excitement of all those holidays and it wouldn’t come close to the excitement that awaits us during divisional round weekend of the NFL playoffs. 2 games Saturday, and 2 games Sunday, and Every game is going to be close except Patriots-Texans. Every QB is one of the best in the league except Brock Osweiler. Every coach is at top of their profession except Bill O’Brien who is a sad excuse for a poor mans Bill Belichick and I feel confident in saying that Bill Belichick has taken dumps that could coach better than Bill O’Brien. And every game is meaningful except Pats-Texans which will be a slaughterfest and the Patriots could rest Tom Brady and still cover the spread. 8 teams remain alive and will be playing this weekend for a chance to advance and possibly win the super bowl. On the other hand some teams are also packing their bags because they are moving cities next year, the San Diego Chargers are no more and Thursday made it official that next year they will be playing in Los Angeles.

LA has had one unsuccessful season of Rams football and they are already bringing them a second team. That would be like Will Smith announcing his next project is After Earth 2; did any of us really want the first one to begin with. The Charger and Rams could combine teams and still not be able to beat half the teams in the league. The Browns and the 49ers both had historically bad seasons and all 3 of their wins combined came against teams who now play in Los Angeles. And its not like LA is known for having great sports fans to begin with. Half of LA thinks Kobe is still starting for the Lakers. There is a famous saying that goes ‘how do you tell if someone is a Laker fan? they know nothing about basketball’ I highly doubt the Hollywood A-listers will be running to get in line to see a Rams or Chargers game anytime soon.

Something else happened last Sunday besides NFL playoff games, the Golden Globe awards were on Sunday night. I did not watch a second of them. I was busy watching film on the Seahawks in case Kyle Shannan called me up this week and wanted my opinion on how to attack the cover 3. It came to my attention later this week that Meryl Streep won an award of some kind and gave a very interesting acceptance speech. Basically she said that without hollywood and actors the rest of America would have nothing to watch but football. How out of touch with reality is this old lady? Nothing to watch but football? I DREAM OF A WORLD WHERE THERE IS NOTHING TO WATCH BUT FOOTBALL. This is the worst type of award acceptance speech, a person who pretends to be someone else for a living is trying to tell me I should feel bad if all I watch is football, absurd. I found something else this week, I have never actually seen a movie staring Meryl Streep, not one. I attempted to do some research for this blog on wikipedia and I’m aware of the perception that Streep is considered to be a very good actress but just to make sure I called my mom to ask her opinion of Meryl and she said “Meryl Streep is the GOAT.” While I’m proud of my mom for using great slang terminology I’m not so sure Meryl Streep is actually the greatest of all time, I think Phillip Rivers might be better. Exibit A:

Meryl Streep and the rest of the hollywood elite may hate the idea of nothing to watch but football, whether they like it or not the Chargers will soon be playing in their city. Since he is in LA Phillip Rivers may want to consider trying his hand at acting. I mean look at the way he pretends to be tough one second and the next acts as if he was hit by a full speed train. I’d like to see Meryl Streep’s old bones pretend to take a hit like that. Maybe Phillip Rivers can give Meryl a few pointers, maybe start with picking a movie that doesn’t sound like a fake made up title like: Dark Matter, One True Thing, Prime, or Moonbeam (ok that last one was fake but it could have fooled me; all those others are all real movies that she was in, ever heard of any of them? me either.)

Rivers like Meryl Streep is also overrated but without any of the accolades to go along with it. Poor Phillip will have to pack up with 12 kids, drive up to LA and attempt to win more than 6 games so these holier-than-thou hollywood types like Meryl Streep’s will actually attend both the terrible Rams and terrible Chargers games. If he succeeds and people buy into the Chargers in LA maybe he and Meryl can be friends, if not I know another person who will agree with him that Meryl Streep and her Hollywood friends suck. Good Ol Goose.

NFL DIVISIONAL ROUND PICKS

All lines used from Las Vegas Westgate SuperBook

Falcons -265 over Seahawks and Over 51

Patriots -15.5 over Texans

Packers +5 over Cowboys

Chiefs -120 over Steleers

Falcons -265 over Seahawks and Over 51

I’m gonna try my best to do impartial when writing this even though I’m a die hard Falcons fan so I will do this in 2 parts. First is a sober level headed argument for why Atlanta will win this game: The Falcons enter the playoffs on a 4 game winning streak during which they averaged 39 ppg and held their opponents to 18 ppg. The Falcons played the Seahawks blow for blow in Seattle in week 6 and ALMOST came out with a win in Seattle despite losing the turnover battle 0-2. The Falcons had a buy and an opportunity to get healthy and the Falcons have no one listed on their injury report entering Saturday. The Seahawks lost pro bowl safety Earl Thomas for the season and have been significantly worse on defense since his injury. Lastly and most importantly this game is NOT in Seattle, where the Seahawks are 8-1 this year including the playoffs as opposed to 3-4-1 on the road. This game is gonna be close and I like the Falcons to come out on top.

Now for the Falcons fan in me to state his argument: THE FALCONS HAVE THE BEST DAMN OFFENSE IN THE LEAGUE RUSSELL WILSON’S STARBUCKS DRINKIN MACKLEMORE LISTENIN ASS WILL NEVER COME INTO THE ATL AND WIN A PLAYOFF GAME FALCONS SUPER BOWL BOUND 85 BEARS COULDNT STOP THIS OFFENSE FALCONS BY A MILLION.

 

Also I have no idea why I did not realize this earlier but the Falcons have hit or tied the over in their last 11 games so let’s go ahead call the over 51 a lock.

Patriots -15.5 over Texans

Here is a list of things that are more likely to happen than the Texans going into Foxborough and beating the Patriots this Saturday:

Hell freezes over. John Mellencamp wins an Oscar. John Elway comes out of retirement to play QB for the Broncos next season. Chris Brown and Soulja Boy put their differences aside to team up and run for president on the same ticket in 202o and win. Lenny Dykstra wins the nobel prize for literature. Jameis Winston and Chris Johnson team up to coach a high school speech and debate team. RGIII leads the browns to a super bowl. RGIII leads the Browns to the super bowl on Madden. RGII wins more than 8 games as the Browns Starting QB. RGIII plays 16 games in a season. Donald Trump appoints Meryl Streep to Secretary of State. Vladamir Putin and Barack Obama get matching BFF tattoos. Hilary Clinton gets photographed wearing a Make America Great Again hat. Johnny Manziel wins NFL comeback player of the year. The sun doesn’t come out tomorrow.

The Patriots went 13-3 ATS this season and covered double digit spreads multiple times. I expect them to do the same this Saturday.

Packers +5 over Cowboys

Easy pick to make because of how dominate the Packers looked last Sunday in the second half against a very good Giants defense. But this Packers team is more than just dominate for a half of playoff football, they are on a 7 game winning streak and in their last 5 games have averaged 35 ppg. They don’t have an easy task going into Dallas to play a 13-3 Cowboys team. I don’t know if the Packers will be able to win this one straight up but I think they will be able to keep it close.

Chiefs -120 over Steelers

Steelers looked great last Sunday and Vegas took notice as this line is almost a pick ’em on the road in Kansas City.  What Vegas didn’t take notice of was the Steelers were playing the Dolphins with a backup QB. Even with people hoping on the Steelers train, I’m sticking with the Kool-Aid man Andy Reid for one reason. Andy Reid is 16-2 in his Career in games coming off a buy. Andy Reid may not be good at winning super bowls or dieting but he is great at winning games coming off the buy. Give me Andy Reid, Alex Smith, and Fake Gronk  at home over the Steelers.

After this weekend we only have 3 football games left, enjoy it while you can.

I don’t know about you guys, but this college bowl season has me worn out. It started off low, but ended incredibly high . If you have been living in a cave for the past month and missed the bowl season, here’s a great rundown of all the games.

As far as my picks were concerned, well, it wasn’t great. I didn’t post all of my picks on the blog because I was way busier during my Christmas Break, but I did make a pick for every game because I wanted to see if I was any good at this thing (spoiler alert: I’m not). My record against the spread for college bowl season ended up being 18-21-1. Not a terrible performance, but I could have been better. Here are three things I learned during the college bowl season:

• No one likes the SEC (Nick Saban), but you sure don’t win much if you pick against them. Sometimes it’s better to just put your opinions to the side and go with the pick that makes the most sense (Alabama). Stop trying to be cute by picking against the SEC (Washington), it doesn’t work.

 

• Defense wins bowl games. I know it’s not much fun to watch a really good defense shut a really good offense down, but it happens a lot during bowl season. I’ll take a great defense that has a month to prepare over a great offense with a month to prepare. I was getting burnt by good defenses early in the bowl season and then I finally started riding the better defenses and it worked out quite well.

 

• Coaching changes before bowl games are inevitable, so take advantage of them. My first blog of the college bowl season was about Tom Herman leaving Houston for Texas and how Houston was still going to roll SDSU because they had Major Lee Applewhite taking over. I didn’t think it would shake up the chemistry for them since he had been their offensive coordinator all year, but it apparently changed something for the worse. It wasn’t just Houston, teams that made a coaching change before their bowl game went 1-3 against the spread this year. Stuff like that definitely matters, I won’t make that mistake again.

I learned most of this myself, but some of this stuff came from a book I read over break called: Good Teams Win. Great Teams Cover. (Thanks to my brother, Joe)  This guy is really good, so if you’re interested in how to pick games, buy this book.

Bowl season definitely had its ups and downs. I didn’t do so great with my picks (good thing I don’t actually gamble money, right?), but I learned a ton of stuff along the way. I’ll take what I’ve learned from this bowl season and apply it to next years and I’ll probably do even worse, that’s how wonky this stuff really is. The best part about it was how many great football games I got to watch. Whether I was by myself or with my friends and family, I truly had a great time watching all of these games, and that’s what it’s all about right? So let’s try this thing one more time, and this time it’s for all the marbles. I’m going to research the crap out of this thing, and then throw all of that research in the trash and pick from my heart.  Don’t be sad it’s over, smile because it happened. Here’s my College Football Championship Pick.

Before we get to the picks, just a quick reminder, I don’t actually gamble real money, because gambling is illegal in Nebraska. If I could gamble legally, these would be the picks I would go with. All of the lines and totals are set at time of publishing (odds coming from oddshark), and will not change as the week goes on. So get’em while their hot! Here we go,  Bart’s Best Bets Baby!

College Football Playoff Championship

• Alabama vs. Clemson: (Clemson +6, AND Clemson +180, AND Over 51)

You know what they say, you throw out the record books when it comes to championship games. The team that plays the best that night and that night only will win the game. So I’m not going to look into the numbers at all in this one. What happens when this math teacher quits looking at numbers? Well, he starts thinking up crazy scenarios that will never happen, but then talks himself into thinking they are realistic. I’ve actually been thinking about this theory for awhile and I think it has legs.

First, let’s start out with the facts: Lane Kiffin will not be the offensive coordinator for Alabama on Monday night. Steve Sarkisian will be the OC for Alabama on Monday night. It’s common knowledge that Nick Saban and Lane Kiffin never got along. It’s also common knowledge that Steve Sarkisian is an alcoholic.

Now, here’s my theory: In attempt to sabotage Nick Saban’s chances of winning his 5th title in 8 years, Lane Kiffin is going to have a little fun with Sark the night before the championship game (Sunday night). Lane is going to take Sark out for a night on the town and “talk football”. Being a competitive human being, Lane challenges Steve to a drink off. Being a competitive human being as well (and also a rather stupid human being, not seeing what Lane is trying to accomplish), Steve accepts said drink off. We all know that Lane never stood a chance and Sark wins that one easy, just take a look at this receipt. Now, it’s Monday morning and Sark doesn’t make it for the morning walk through (meanwhile, Kiffin is already on a plane headed home, pretending nothing ever happened). Sark wakes up from ferocious knocking at his door, it’s Saban. Smelling the alcohol on his breath, Saban fires him on the spot and decides that he’ll just have to be the OC for the championship game. Here’s the thing, Nick Saban is a defensive genius, but I’m not so sure he knows much about the offensive end of the football. Bad news for Alabama. Clemson takes advantage and plays the best game all season, beating Alabama and winning the College Football National Championship.

Lane Kiffin strikes again. Clemson wins. Everyone is happy, right?

Ok, that was a little far out there, but I’m entitled to publishing stupid stuff because this is my blog (again, blame my wife).

Here’s the bottom line: I have a gut feeling that Clemson will not only cover the six points, but they will win the game outright in somewhat of a high scoring game that will come down to the last possession. I know earlier in the blog I told you guys that I learned to bet the SEC and go with the better defense, and I’m not doing either of these two on this pick. That’s because my gut trumps everything I’ve ever learned. Deal with it.

Clemson: 38 Alabama: 35

Have a great Championship Monday!