NFL Week 14 Color Rush: Andy Reid’s Wife is too hot for him

I’ll admit I have a football addiction, I watch any terrible matchup the NFL rolls out on a week night just because I’m excited about a game during the week. I don’t proudly admit this but I watched 3 quarters of a Titans-Jaguars matchup one time on a Thursday night. Its not that I have a gambling problem, its just a football problem. The NFL is finally starting to thank fans everywhere for sitting through terrible Thursday matchups and rewarding us with a second straight great Thursday matchup, The 10-2 Las Vegas Oakland Raiders vs the 9-3 Kansas City Chiefs.

I hate the TV show King of Queens and have hated it ever since it came out. I don’t hate it cause its a pointless show that isn’t funny, I hate it cause I could never get over the fact that as a viewer I’m supposed to believe that Paul Blart is married to that hot chick.

I mean C’MON MAN how stupid is the American television viewer that they kept this show on the air for almost 10 years?! If at any point I tried to watch an episode of that show I wouldn’t be able to focus on what was going on cause I couldn’t get over the fact that he was married to her. That is sort of the same way I felt when I saw Andy Reid’s wife for the first time.

Now Tammy Reid is no Mrs. Bret Bielema (even more of a head scratcher how that douche with a faux hawk was able to land that hard 10.) but Tammy Reid is a very pretty lady especially considering that she is almost 60!! Regardless of how she looks why would any human woman with a pulse be married to the fat, mustached, human version of the kool aid man? 

The fact that Andy Reid clearly out kicked his coverage when it comes to his wife can only mean one thing: this man has an extreme amount of self confidence. BartSauce and I like to refer to this as “the Cardale Jones Theory” (which we will elaborate on in a later blog.) Even though his wife is clearly more attractive than him, he married her anyway; and even though his team ranks 29th in total defense entering week 14 they are 9-3 and finding crazy ways to win games. Kansas City has won games this year in ways I didn’t think were possible especially on the road at Carolina, Denver, and last Sunday in Atlanta. The only explanation could be the team has taken on the identity of their head coach. Even though they look in the mirror and they are fat, bald, and have the world’s creepiest mustache; they still go out and play like they look like Channing Tatum.

My Thursday Night Color Rush Pick: Raiders +3.5 over Chiefs

This Thursday Kansas City’s fake confidence gets exposed against a real Super Bowl contender, the future Las Vegas Raiders. The Raiders come into KC on a 6 game winning streak and haven’t lost a game since October 16 when they lost at home to the Chiefs. The fact that the Chiefs beat the Raiders earlier this season will scare off some people but for whatever weird reason the Raiders are actually playing better on the road than at home this season. As for the Chiefs, they have not done their part covering the spread as a home favorite this year. 5 times this season KC has been a home favorite and they are only 1-4 ATS. The Raiders on the other had are 3-0 as a road underdog and that is straight up and ATS! Say no more I’m taking Las Vegas Oakland’s glove buddies Derek Carr and Jack Del Rio to cover over Kansas City and Paul Blart/Kool aid man Andy Reid. I will be back Sunday with my full slate of Week 14 NFL picks.