Author: davech999

I woke up Wednesday with same attitude I do every day, angry at the world for forcing me to be up before the sun, thinking of all the possible excuses I could make to call in sick to work, and then eventually dragging myself to the fridge to grab any liquid that contains caffeine. The only thing I can look forward to at that ungodly hour is turning on the tv to watch morning sports programming, and Wednesday even that let me down. The first material I expose my brain to at 5:30 in the morning, a full report from the Westminster dog show. (Thanks a lot ESPN for failing me and many other red blooded Americans who all we count on you for is to help us start out our day by telling us about grown men playing games and instead you bring us something as ridiculous as dogs, SHAME.) It was in this moment I realized we made it to that time of year, sports hell. Where so little is going on in the sports world that ESPN is showing dogs and it has nothing to do with Michael Vick. This post Super Bowl purgatory is so bad Sports Illustrated puts out a magazine with naked boobs on the cover and for decades no one has stopped to ask ‘isn’t this supposed to be a sports magazine?’ It’s been 13 days since live football was on tv and this weekend we finally may be rescued from sports hell with the NBA All Star game. For the first time since football is over the NBA will be center stage this weekend and Stars will be on display during the 3 point contest, dunk contest, rising stars game, celebrity game, and the actual all star game, all while having no defense involved what so ever. This may be a time for the NBA to get national exposure before the end of the season playoff push but the All Star weekend is not what the NBA needs to make itself more interesting, it needs a rivalry.

‘Love trumps hate’ is a great slogan if you’re grandma who is trying make yourself relatable to hipster millennials but if you’re wondering what makes for an interesting story, hate is much more marketable.

How great was that movie where the empire and the rebel alliance met together at a negotiating table to settle their differences? What about the tv show where the regional manager and the HR guy discussed ways to make the company better? Or what about the 2 rappers who privately agreed to disagree instead of publicly airing out their issues? How much more interesting was history class during the cold war? The point is conflict is always much more interesting than harmony, and the same is true for the NBA.

The NBA has had its share of great rivalries; Wilt vs Russell, Bird vs Magic, MJ vs everyone. But in this new era of the millennial NBA we have yet to see if a real NBA rivalry is possible. The problem with the millennial NBA players is they all have personally known each other since they were in high school and sometimes before. So most of these guys have some type of relationship before they ever put on an NBA jersey and it makes it harder for them to dislike each other. There is only one plausible possibility of that changing, and it has been set in motion since last 4th of July.

Kevin Durant choosing to leave Oklahoma City for Golden State last summer set ripples through the NBA for many reasons but none are more exciting than the possibility of him and his former teammate Russell Westbrook now hating each other. KD teaming up with the team that won 73 games last year going against a psychotic competitor/human triple double machine in Russell Westbrook has all the great makings of a rivalry. Last Saturday the two faced off against each other in Oklahoma City for the first time since Durant left and the anticipation could not have been greater. The national sports media had the game circled on it collective calendar for months. The first time KD will come to Oklahoma as a visitor. Will he be booed the entire game? How will he respond to negative criticism? Will Russ literally try to fight him during the game?

The actual result was nothing like we all had hoped for. The Warriors end up winning by 16 and have the game on cruise control for most of the second half. The most interesting part of the entire contest was the Thunder cutting the lead to 18 in the third quarter and Westbrook and Durant exchanging a few words before a timeout, that’s what all the fuss was about. With that being said I am sick of waiting for KD vs Russ to turn into an actual rivalry and more just waiting for them to kiss and make up. And I don’t mean figuratively kiss and make up, I mean literally have their lips touch. After their kiss while KD is fighting back tears he can ask for Russ’s forgiveness for not calling him after he decided to join the Warriors last summer (because if you remember their whole beef in the first place was supposedly KD didn’t call Russ after he made his decision to leave OKC.)

This weekend during the all star game a lot of the lead up to the game will be centered around how Westbrook will fit in with KD and his new teammates. Will they get along on the court? off the court? Will they share their toys with Westbrook? Ignore all the noise and remember these guys are all secretly friends and will never actually fight with each other. Our hope for an entertaining basketball rivalry will not happen with KD and Russ, they are more likely to have a fashion beef.

All Star Weekend 2017 Picks

East +6.5

3 Point contest: Kyrie Irving +375

Skills Challenge: Devin Booker +500

East +6.5

Look everyone knows the all star game itself is a joke. Each team will take turns taking wide open 3’s and throwing alley oops to each other until the last 4 minutes when everyone starts playing defense slightly harder than a mannequin would and the game gets a little closer. A much more entertaining idea would be to let Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook be captains and pick players like a real pick up game since the all star game really is just the worlds most glorified pick up game. Or maybe just let Durant and Westbrook play horse, or 21, or one on one. OR better yet just cancel the game, bring out an octagon and let them go 5 rounds MMA style, I JUST WANT TO SEE KD AND RUSS ACTUALLY BEEF INSTEAD OF PRETENDING THEY ARE MAD AT EACH OTHER AND MAKING UP A FEW MONTHS LATER LIKE THEY WILL INEVITABILITY DO.

The rosters look evenly matched but the west has historically won the all star game especially as of late winning 5 of the last 6. But out of those victories only 1 of the 5 was by more than 6 points. Sounds weird to say but the East should be able to win or at least play within a few buckets.

3 Point Contest: Kyrie Irving +375

I will admit I’ve cheated my way through every science class I’ve taken since I was 16 and I don’t really remember what science class was like in elementary school. My mother is an elementary teacher though and has been for 18 years, so I asked her when kids learn that the earth is round and how many elementary kids think the earth is round. She told me that her 1st grade students learn the earth is round and she guarantees 100% of her students know the earth is round. Why am I telling you about 1st grade science? Because former all star game MVP and NBA champion Kyrie Irving thinks the earth is flat. This proves Kyrie Irving is staying a little too woke. I really don’t understand out of all the conspiracy theory’s out there that this one is catching on but for someone who spent a whole semester at Duke University to believe the earth is flat or dinosaurs didn’t exist is absolutely ridiculous. I totally understand not wanting to believe what the government or public school system tells you, and I could go on forever about conspiracy theory’s but why this one? Kyrie has clearly fell victim to the same syndrome of B.O.B., being too woke.  My theory is Kyrie smokes a lot of weed and someone he smokes weed with just told him the earth might be flat and after googling it for a few minutes he’s convinced. Of all the arguments for why Marijuana should be legalized; if we are going to end up with a society of stoned idiots who think the earth is flat I am all for keeping marijuana illegal for eternity. There is actual proof and science that backs up the earth being round and has been for 500 years. Plus how does Kyrie explain Sandra Bullock floating away in space from a round earth. RIDDLE ME THAT ONE KYRIE!!!

Oh yeah on top of being an idiot, Kyrie can also make basketballs go into hoops. I think he wins the 3 point contest.

Skills Challenge: Devin Booker +500

The Skills Challenge is basically like the carnival game of NBA all star weekend, its probably rigged and after spending all your money your pissed you played it in the first place. Like Carnival games there is very little skill required and really anyone could step up and win same is true for All Star weekend. Out of the 8 guys in this contest I think Booker has the best value at 5/1. He should be favored with John Wall and Isaiah Thomas. However just like how a girl without any hand eye coordination can step up to a carnival pop a shot and hit one, any one of these guys could get hot in the circus of obstacles and win this.

Happy All Star weekend, I’ll be back next week with more college basketball/NBA coverage, that is if I don’t fall off the flat earth between now and then.

 

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 21th straight week, Welcome to the Super Bowl.

Let’s start with this, the NFL has trademarked the phrase ‘Super Bowl’ so technically everyone besides NFL network, Fox, CBS, and ESPN is supposed to say ‘the big game’ instead of ‘Super Bowl’ and I’m so sick of hearing people dance around the phrase Super Bowl so I won’t do it here.

We finally made it to the greatest day of the year, Super Bowl Sunday. This day has always been my favorite holiday, and make no mistake it is a holiday. People gather together with friends and family, eat food that is unhealthy for them, and awkwardly make small talk about football to distract from real world problems happening around them; sounds like a holiday to me. This day has always been my favorite holiday ever since I was too old to get toys as presents for Christmas and realized a day spent drinking beer, eating wings and nachos while watching the biggest football game of the year is about the best way you can spend a day. It’s also a send off into the offseason where we will all wait 7 months to watch another live football game (unless you’re a CFL fan). For some people its about the commercials and halftime show. For others its about the game and prop bets. I usually lean on the side of game and gambling, but I love all of it. I especially love that even the people who know nothing about sports know the game is going on and might even watch part of it.

I should probably explain something before I go on, I am a Falcons fan. If this isn’t your first time reading this you might be thinking you already knew that, but trust me you don’t. I am such a die hard fan die hard is an understatement. I am such a fan that it almost goes to a religious status. Have you seen the movie Fever Pitch with Jimmy Fallon? That guy was an amateur compared to me. (What kind of fan gives up season tickets so he can have a shot at dating a minorly attractive women? Completely unrealistic.) I watch every snap every season, I live for every touchdown, and slowly die with every turnover. I have a Falcons shower curtain, a closet of Falcons t-shirts, and have had either a Michael Vick or Matt Ryan poster in my bedroom for a majority of my life.

When I started sharing my thoughts on the internet I didn’t plan on writing about the Falcons because it almost seems like having a casual acquaintance tell you about their children you’ve never met, you don’t really care. But here we are the Falcons are playing in the Super Bowl so I can’t act like I don’t have a huge rooting interest in this game. How did I become such a big Falcons fan? Long story short I make bad life decisions. I never expected the Falcons to get to the Super Bowl in the first place, I don’t think anyone did. Their odds and the beginning of the season were 100/1 to win it all and yet here we are.

So what’s the problem? It’s my favorite holiday and my team will be playing. Sounds like a perfect scenario right?! Wrong! The entire atmosphere that makes Super Bowl Sunday great is ruined for me. The fellowship, drinking, eating, and celebrating the season is put aside while I pace up and down the room pulling my hair out over the game it self. Instead of going to a Super Bowl party with friends and enjoying a day centered around football I will watch the game alone, probably on mute, (first time Joe Buck says something that is negative about the Falcons I will for sure mute the tv and tweet horribly things to him @buck) and like a psychopath talk to myself and throw things and stress myself out about a game that I’m not actually playing in. There is nothing fun about that, all the joy and relaxing Sunday atmosphere that normally is on Super Bowl Sunday will be traded in for tension and constriction all because the team who’s jersey’s I liked when I was little is playing in the Super Bowl for the first time since I was 6.

There is nothing relaxing or fun about this for me. This is a battle. I will be locked in and focused as if I were playing. Does that make me a psycho? You’re absolutely right Boom. Am I proud of this? Not at all. I really do have a problem and after reading this you agree I have a problem maybe all of you can start a gofundme and possibly pay for my future therapy. Until then I will be watching the game alone, on mute, with my phone off to avoid all possible distractions. If you believe in some kind of higher power please pray for me, and Matt Ryan.

NFL Super Bowl Pick

Patriots -3 over Falcons

Over 59

Patriots -3 over Falcons

Obviously I’m hoping I am wrong about this pick, but if my team is going to lose and crush my hopes and dreams I might as well win some money while it happens. People have had two weeks to dissect this matchup and the conclusion I made is no one really knows how this is going to play out. Actually at different points this season I said there was no way the Patriots win the Super Bowl without Gronk and I said there was no way the Falcons win the Super Bowl without Desmond Trufant. Both were pro bowlers last year and had season ending injuries so I am already wrong heading into this game. Having watched the Falcons all year I know better than anyone the Falcons offense is legit. Julio Jones is the best receiver in the NFL, Tevin Coleman, Devonta Freeman, and Pat Dimarco are the best backfield in the NFL, top it off with Matt Ryan playing like the MVP he is and the Falcons offense is playing nearly unstoppable. Even the Falcons young defense has played better holding opponents to 19 ppg during their 6 game winning streak. The biggest stat for the Falcons during their win streak is they are +12 in the turnover margin. And yet dispite all these great things the Falcons have done I, like a lot of people, have a feeling Bill Belichick will find a way to stop the Falcons and win this game. Why would anyone think differently? Everything I’ve ever known watching football is Tom Brady and Bill Belichick win these types of games (except when they play Eli Manning) and The Falcons lose these types of games. Numbers don’t exaclty support the Falcons either. The number one offense in the league is only 1-7 in the last 8 super bowls, Falcons have the number one offense. Team with the better Defense tends to win these type of games, and the Patriots have the best scoring defense in the league. I truly hope I am wrong but everything tells me the evil genius Belichick finds a way to get it done.

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Ok there’s plenty of time for me to get emotional about Matt Ryan or stress out about Tom Brady but let’s try to focus on the fun stuff, prop bets. Every year Vegas Sportsbooks release hundreds of different props to bet on during the game ranging from how many yards will Tom Brady throw for to what will Lady Gaga wear during her halftime performance. After a week of sorting through hundreds of options here is what BartSauce and I think will hit.

Bart’s Best Bet: National Anthem Under 2 minutes 9 seconds

Look guys, I’ve done plenty of research (watched 3 youtube videos) of Luke Bryan singing National Anthems before sporting events and he has NEVER went over 2 minutes. Luke Bryan is what I like to call a football guys guy, and he knows what everybody is there for, and that’s the football game. I am fully confident that he will put together a quick and clean National Anthem.

Donald Trump mentioned under 1.5 times during the broadcast

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman most definitely realize that people love sports because it’s a nice escape from reality and politics. They might mention his name once, but definitely not twice or more.

Coin Toss: Tails

You know the drill: Tails never fails.

A player other than Brady and Ryan WILL attempt a pass

Edleman and Sanu both have quarterback backrounds and trick plays are always fun, especially in a highstakes game. I really like the value on this one too at +135.

Will the word “Lacrosse” be said on the broadcast? YES.

Hey, did you guys know Chris Hogan played lacrosse?

Dion Lewis Over 26.5 receiving yards

The Patriots are 16-0 in their last 16 games Lewis has played in, and a big part of his success is catching the ball out of the backfield. The Falcons will only be trying to limit his big play ability out of the backfield but he will get his chances. Plus someone other than a white receiver has to catch passes for the Patriots at some point, its the law of the NFL.

Austin Hooper Over 11.5 receiving yards

The Falcons rookie TE isn’t exactly a major part of the game plan but all he has to do here is get 1, 12 yard catch, he’s good for at least that

Julio Jones Under 95.5 receiving yards

‘Belichick always takes away the other teams best weapon’ is a phrase all sports media loves to use, mostly because its true. Julio has been out of his mind in the playoffs and there’s a chance he goes for 200+ during this game but more likely is he is doubled. When he’s been doubled this season the Falcons have been more than content to throw the ball to everyone else in the offense.

Different Falcons players to catch a pass Over 8

Matt Ryan has been great at distributing the ball this season. Falcons set the NFL record for different players to catch a TD this season with 13. On average about 8 different players catch a pass and I think the last game of the season the Falcons will be more than willing to pull out all the stops and throw to everyone.

Chris Hogan Over 59.5 receiving yards

Seriously did you know Chris Hogan played college lacrosse?! Hogan had a huge game in the AFC championship and he could very well do the same in the Super Bowl. Mostly because he will be covered by the weaker Falcons DBs like Jalen Collins.

Times Holst will cry during Super Bowl Sunday Over/Under 1.5

no matter who wins take the over.

Happy end of football season to everyone. Enjoy Super Bowl Sunday and Go Falcons Rise UP.

Hi my name is Taylor and I have a football addiction. Welcome to the first weekend without football since August, the pain and sadness we will all be experiencing this weekend is real. Post Football Depression, or PFD, is a legitimate mental condition and should be treated with as much seriousness as we treat other conditions such as ‘Hilary didn’t win so now I need a week off of work to recover’ syndrome.

How am I supposed to spend the 25 hours this weekend that are usually filled with the excitement of watching grown men try to smash each others heads in? Should I go attempt to interact with females? Possibly take one on a date? Should I go to work and try to get a head start on Monday? Should I walk outside into the light and experience sunshine? NO WAY THAT ALL SOUNDS HORRIBLE.

The light at the end of the tunnel for this weekend is next Sunday we have the greatest holiday in America, Super Bowl Sunday, and my Atlanta Falcons are in the big game. So I will probably spend a majority of my 25 hours watching film on the Patriots because we have to know the opponent as well as we know ourselves in order to be successful.

Besides watching film there are plenty of other great sporting events on this weekend such as #2 Kansas vs #4 Kentucky in one of the best regular season matchups in college basketball and it couldn’t come at a better time to cure some PFD. The only problem is we have to sit through hours of medicore matchups like Georgia-Texas and West Virginia-Texas A&M and Trump’s press secretary-everyone on the internet; all apart of the SEC Big 12 challange presented by the weirdos from the Sonic commercials.

In fact this whole day of sub-par college basketball matchups is like watching a Sonic commercial, all you’re thinking the whole time is when is this creepiness going to leave the screen so I can get back to what I’m really waiting for. All this trash college basketball that’s on today is the fault of ESPN and Sonic. They know Kansas-Kentucky is an unbelievable matchup but they need some excuse for the two historically great teams to play each other in the middle of conference play so they introduce the SEC-Big 12 challenge presented by Sonic. Why can’t we just schedule Kansas-Kentucky in the middle of the season so everyone can just enjoy it? BECAUSE THE NCAA AND ESPN CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT MAKING IT AN OVERHYPED POOPFEAST OF TERRIBLE PROGRAMING PRESENTED BY SONIC CATERED BY APPLEBEES BUILT BY THE HOME DEPOT AND INSURED BY PROGRESSIVE.

If ESPN or the NCAA did something that made sense I think it might be too shocking for us all to handle so let’s just sit back and enjoy a little more Tennesse-Kansas State to push away our PFD. Just because Kansas-Kentucky is going to be great, doesn’t mean it has to ruin the rest of a Saturday slate of college basketball.

Weekend Picks:

Kentucky -7 over Kansas

Marshall -13 over UTEP

Pro Bowl: Over 82.5

Rafael Nadal -125 over Roger Federer

Kentucky -7 over Kansas

This really is a great matchup and potentially a preview of what we could be watching in April during the Final 4. Both of these teams have a lot in common, historically great programs with multiple national titles, great coaches who would cut off their left hand if it helped them sign a recruit, and freak of nature freshman who are sure to be one and done and lottery draft picks next season. The edge in this game is with Kentucky being home in Lexington which is why I think they will be able to win by double digits. Kansas is a great team but not especially a great road team with their only two losses on the season coming away from Allen Fieldhouse. Also despite their great straight up record KU is a pathetic 6-12 ATS this season. Rock-Chalk Why can’t we cover the spread?

Marshall -13 over UTEP

Hey that team from that one movie about the football team in the plane crash is playing that team from that one movie about how racist college basketball/America was 50 years ago. That is probably how most of America knows about these two schools so why waste a second of your time watching this crap? Because Marshall is going to win by 20. How do I know? UTEP is 5-14 this year and is in last place in the SouthwesttexasWesternwestvirginia conference (serious question why the hell are these 2 schools in the same conference? Does the NCAA own a map or is that place run by a group of chimpanzees wearing tuxedos). and they have to go on the road to one of the better teams in the conference. Easy $.

Pro Bowl: Over 82.5

We all know the Pro Bowl sucks but its all we have this weekend. It might do a tiny bit to cure some PFD and I am willing to take that chance and watch it. All week the National media has been asking “why did we elect this guy?” “what is wrong with the Pro Bowl?” I can tell you what’s wrong easily, 90% of the enjoyment of watching football is seeing the most athletically gifted people on the planet full speed smash into each other. The Pro Bowl is like watching a scrimmage where everyone on the field is treated like a QB and can’t be touched. All of this lack of hitting may make for bad football but its good for useless TDs. This season is the first time in 3 years that it will return to the AFC-NFC format, and the previous 3 times the game was in that format the game went over.

Rafael Nadal -125 over Roger Federer

Once upon a time I was sort of a tennis legend in the trenches that is the Wyoming high school tennis circuit or at least that’s how I remember it. Since then I have not picked up a racket since 2010 and have followed very little tennis professionally but I always loved to watch these 2 play. In order to make an accurate prediction for this final I called our blog tennis correspondent and indoor football/gas station enthusiast Joebin Ritzdorf, who himself was once upon a time a GPAC tennis legend. He said and I will loosely paraphrase; Rafael Nadal is having a career renaissance in this tournament and is looking like a 2005 version of himself. Roger Federer also is not playing his age and after taking some time off is in his first major final in a few years. Most people know their names but no one expected these two old guys to make it to another final, much less against each other. This very well could be the last ride for both of them and its sure to be exciting. Joebin likes Nadal in tight 5 set match over Fed and is even staying up all night to watch since the match starts at 2 AM central time, adding #Sleepisfortheweak. If Joebin is correct we can celebrate his accuracy and he keeps his job as tennis correspondent. If he is wrong feel free to send him spam/hate mail to josephritzdorf@gmail.com

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 20th straight week, Welcome to the NFL Championship Weekend.

Only 3 games left before football leaves us for 7 months and the post football season depression is creeping right around the corner. The cure to keep it away? Obsessively prepare for the NFC/AFC championship games the way all you can eat buffet chefs prepare when they hear Andy Reid is coming for dinner. Only 4 teams are left and will be playing this Sunday for a chance to reach the promised land and play on Super Bowl Sunday.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before; A man married to a supermodel, a man dating a movie star, a dog fighter, and a rapist walk into a bar… The Falcons, Packers, Patriots, and Steelers have all had great seasons and they all have something in common, they each have one of the best QBs in the league. Seriously the QBs left in the playoffs have some incredible numbers. Combined between them they have 27 Pro Bowls, 4 (soon be by 5 assuming Ryan, Rodgers, or Brady win this season) MVPs, 5 first team all pro selections, 10 (soon to be 12) conference championships, and 7 (soon to be 8) super bowls wins. I could go on and on about how great Matt Ryan, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger are but I think it would be more fun to nitpick and scrutinize them. In honer of the United States getting a new president this Friday I am going to critique each of the remaining QBs the same way we critique our political candidates; give a one sided view of them that doesn’t always have to be based in truth and unfairly judge them for their mistakes.

Tom Brady

First up in the AFC we have former 199th overall pick and known Ugg boot wearer Tom Brady. If Tom were to run for president he would have a hard time getting a vote anywhere besides New England because most people outside of Patriots fans don’t like him. The perception of Brady is he’s a cheater, liar, will do anything to win, and has a super hot foreign wife. Along with most of the country not liking him it seems Brady has quite a bit in common with his good buddy and our new president Donald Trump! Maybe he should consider running for President in 2020. If Tom Brady did run for president obviously he would be criticized  for Spygate and deflategate, and rightfully so but that’s not the reason most people should hate him. What people should be questioning is why Tom Brady left his girlfriend when she was pregnant. For those of you that don’t know before Tom was married to a supermodel he dated actress Bridget Moynahan aka the hot chick from I-robot. They dated for 3 years and right after announcing they had split up Bridget announced she was pregnant with Tom’s child and then Tom announced he was dating a Brazilian super model. So you have to ask yourself, could you vote for a president who leaves his pregnant girlfriend for a supermodel? I don’t know about president but I sure couldn’t vote for him for NFL MVP.

Ben Roethlisberger

Playing opposite Brady Sunday will be the QB for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Ben Roethlisberger. Out of all the QBs left in the playoffs Big Ben might have the toughest time getting elected into public office. The good: he plays for a historically great franchise, and he has won 2 super bowls for that franchise. Unfortunately for him, Big Ben is also known for a few other things, one not being good at operating motorcycles, and two, some sketchy situations involving him and women accusing him of sexual assault. Twice Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of sexual assalut by two different women in two different places and neither of them were in Pittsburgh. I don’t know what Big Ben has against female Steelers fans but apparently he felt the need to go to Nevada and Georgia to inappropriately come onto women. Both of these incidents were years ago and Ben has since gotten married and cleaned up his act, but since getting married Big Ben has not won a super bowl. I do not know why Ben’s wife hates winning championships but clearly Ben is a man who needs to stubble into the women’s bathroom and feel up a couple tipsy 20 year olds in order to be successful on a football field. Is that acceptable in the NFL? You’re absolutely right boom. Is that acceptable to be president? Well 9 months ago I would have said no but Trump won so who knows.

Aaron Rodgers

If you’ve turned on even a second of sports media this week then you know Aaron Rodgers is on fire, playing better than any QB in the history of football, and we should all take our first born children and sacrifice them at his feet. I mean this guy really can do it all; he has a movie star girlfriend, a super bowl ring, and an entire state of cheese eating morons ready to fight anyone who dares to speak ill of him. He raises money for starving kids in the Congo, he has funny commercials where he makes fun of himself and his touchdown dance. Who in their right mind could dislike this guy? His own parents that’s who. I don’t feel good about bringing up a public figures family affairs but if he is running for president I feel the people deserve to know! So lets start at the beginning, a year ago Aaron’s brother went on a reality show called the Bachelor (apparently its quite popular). During this weird show where cameras follow you and record everything you say, it was discovered Aaron and his brother are not on speaking terms. Months later we found out no one in Aaron’s family has spoken to him in almost 2 years including his own parents. The family feud is so serious Aaron even mailed back Christmas presents his parents sent him. Apparently the situation started when Aaron starting dating movie star Olivia Munn. Coincidentally much like Big Ben, Aaron Rodgers has not won a super bowl either since he starting dating Munn. I have no idea what Olivia Munn has against the fat good people of Wisconsin, or why she does not want them to win a super bowl, but I do know this. Any person who is unwilling to speak to his own mother is unfit to lead our country. Eminem made a song about wanting to rape and kill his mother and they even found a way to make amends. Aaron Rodgers = not trusted by his parents, not trusted by this country.

Matt Ryan

This one is gonna be easy no way this disgrace of human being could ever run for office and get elected. First he was caught with an illegal firearm, then there was the water bottle filled with marijuana on the airplane incident, and to top it off getting caught operating a dog fighting ring where he tortured and killed innocent animals!!  Not to mention all of the times his brother or cousins got him in trouble, how could anyone support this guy?! Oh wait that’s not the right QB, that was the old Falcons QB who’s name I can’t quite recall. The previous Falcons QB would have been perfect for this, but its harder to find some dirt on this new guy Matt Ryan. About the only thing you can fault him on is how boring he is. First off boring name, any white male with 2 first names has to be a boring guy. Second boring family, he isn’t married to a celebrity like Rodgers or Brady, and he doesn’t have a history of assaulting women like Roethlisberger. He is actually married to his college sweetheart, BORING!! Next lets talk about Matt Ryan’s fashion choices, Matt Ryan dresses as if he goes to the opposite stylist as Cam Newton. He dresses like his second job is substitute teaching for a high school English class.

LAME!! There has to be something this guy does that is not so cookie cutter! Earlier this season Matt Ryan gave an interview on the Rich Eisen show and when asked what he does with his free time, Matt said he and his wife binge watch Shameless. So there’s Matt Ryan’s idea of a good time, watching a tv show about fictional people’s horrible lives. Maybe Matt Ryan is just the most boring guy of all time, or maybe there is a reason he looks like a regional manager of an Applebees. Years later will we find out Matt Ryan was a serial killer this whole time? Or is his only vice in life Netflix? Either way I’ve been told never trust a man that doesn’t have a vice so there’s no way I’m voting for Matt Ryan for president either.

NFL Conference Championship Picks

All lines used from Las Vegas Westgate Superbook

Falcons -5.5 over Packers (Bart’s Best Bet)

Patriots -6 over Steelers

 

Falcons -5.5 over Packers

Hey guys, It’s BartSauce. Since DaveCh999 is a huge Falcons fan (Oh, you guys didn’t know that?), he put me in charge of picking this game because he couldn’t make a non bias pick. Well, he might as well have made the pick, because I think I’m going the same way on this game that he would have, and that’s Falcons all the way, baby.

Everyone has been all over Aaron Rodgers and the Packers ever since he made that amazing throw against the Cowboys to set up for that crazy Mason Crosby field goal to win the divisional round. Heck, I was even drooling over Rodgers until about Wednesday! Then I finally came back to earth and started thinking like the rational human being that I am (that’s debatable).

I know Aaron Rodgers is on a tear the past eight games and it seems like he is on top of the world, but do you know who’s been on a tear for 17 games straight? Ever heard of this guy? His name is Matt Ryan, and he led the NFL’s best offense this year and definitely deserves to be the NFL MVP this year. The Falcons offense completely torched Seattle’s “Legion of Boom (or bust)” defense last week and is going against a far worse and far more injured Green Bay defense this week. I don’t see Matt Ryan being phased at all, and look for him and that powerful Falcons offense to have a great day.

Here’s one more reason to pick the Falcons: It’s the last game in the Georgia Dome (RIP In Peace). You think the Falcons would walk out of that stadium for the last time without the NFC Championship Trophy? No way, no how. Fly Falcons, Fly!

Aaron Rodgers has been absolutely incredible, but it’s not going to matter on Sunday. The Falcons will make a few more defensive stops than the Packers and that will be the deciding factor. I like the Falcons to win this one with a score somewhere around 38-28. So yeah, you should definitely take the over 61 in this one too, you’d be crazy not to!

Patriots -6 over Steelers

Picking the team that has a QB and coach how has played in 6 super bowls and won 4 is actually easier than it sounds. The Patriots are 14-3 ATS this season which is incredible considering they have been a favorite in every game. The Patriots just don’t cover they also consistently cover double digit spreads, so 6 points should be easy! The Patirots and Steelers played once this season and the Pats won 27-16, but Ben Roethlisberger didn’t play. So what can we learn from that game, known pot head Le’veon Bell was held to 81 yards rushing which is his 4th lowest number of the season. The Pats being able to hold Le’veon Bell under 100 rushing yards could be huge because the Steelers are 1-4 when Bell rushes under 100 yards. Patriots coach Bill Belichick is many things, 6 time super bowl champion, friend of President Donald Trump, and known spyier of other teams practices and deflater of footballs; but of all those things coach Belichick is known for he is also known for taking away whatever the other teams best weapon is. I believe the evil genius will find a way to limit the killer bees of Ben Bell and Brown and the Patriots will go to their 6th Super Bowl with Tom Brady.

NE/PITT prop bets

As if these games needed to be more exciting casinos always roll out a number of other things in the game to bet on besides just the spread. A few of these are always easier to hit than others the problem is picking the easy ones, so here we go.

Will Tom Brady throw an INT? NO -150

Brady played in 12 regular season games and only threw 2 INTs compared to 28 TDs. Last week in the first playoff game Brady threw 2 INTs in 1 game. I think Brady got his bad game out of the way and will get back to not turning the ball over this game.

Will both teams make 33+ yard FGs? YES -110

Last week the Steelers did something no other team had done in the playoffs, they won a game on the road scoring no TDs. They did however kick 6 FGs. The Patriots also have a great kicker Stephen Gostkowski. Cold weather, good kickers, tight playoff games, I like both teams to get a longer one.

Steelers under 22.5 points -110

Unlike the NFC championship game the AFC championship game is going to be a tighter game between two good defenses. I’ve already decided the Pats are going to be able to slow down the Steelers weapons and that is because the Pats defense is one of the best in the league allowing only 16 ppg.

 

Only 3 games left, enjoy them while you can, see you next week.

 

 

 

 

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 19th straight week, Welcome to the NFL Playoffs.

Buckle up people we are knee deep in the most glorious time of year known as the NFL Playoffs and this weekend may be the best weekend in all of football. Or even the best weekend in all of sports. Or even the best weekend in the entire year!!! Christmas? New Years? 4th of July? You could combine the excitement of all those holidays and it wouldn’t come close to the excitement that awaits us during divisional round weekend of the NFL playoffs. 2 games Saturday, and 2 games Sunday, and Every game is going to be close except Patriots-Texans. Every QB is one of the best in the league except Brock Osweiler. Every coach is at top of their profession except Bill O’Brien who is a sad excuse for a poor mans Bill Belichick and I feel confident in saying that Bill Belichick has taken dumps that could coach better than Bill O’Brien. And every game is meaningful except Pats-Texans which will be a slaughterfest and the Patriots could rest Tom Brady and still cover the spread. 8 teams remain alive and will be playing this weekend for a chance to advance and possibly win the super bowl. On the other hand some teams are also packing their bags because they are moving cities next year, the San Diego Chargers are no more and Thursday made it official that next year they will be playing in Los Angeles.

LA has had one unsuccessful season of Rams football and they are already bringing them a second team. That would be like Will Smith announcing his next project is After Earth 2; did any of us really want the first one to begin with. The Charger and Rams could combine teams and still not be able to beat half the teams in the league. The Browns and the 49ers both had historically bad seasons and all 3 of their wins combined came against teams who now play in Los Angeles. And its not like LA is known for having great sports fans to begin with. Half of LA thinks Kobe is still starting for the Lakers. There is a famous saying that goes ‘how do you tell if someone is a Laker fan? they know nothing about basketball’ I highly doubt the Hollywood A-listers will be running to get in line to see a Rams or Chargers game anytime soon.

Something else happened last Sunday besides NFL playoff games, the Golden Globe awards were on Sunday night. I did not watch a second of them. I was busy watching film on the Seahawks in case Kyle Shannan called me up this week and wanted my opinion on how to attack the cover 3. It came to my attention later this week that Meryl Streep won an award of some kind and gave a very interesting acceptance speech. Basically she said that without hollywood and actors the rest of America would have nothing to watch but football. How out of touch with reality is this old lady? Nothing to watch but football? I DREAM OF A WORLD WHERE THERE IS NOTHING TO WATCH BUT FOOTBALL. This is the worst type of award acceptance speech, a person who pretends to be someone else for a living is trying to tell me I should feel bad if all I watch is football, absurd. I found something else this week, I have never actually seen a movie staring Meryl Streep, not one. I attempted to do some research for this blog on wikipedia and I’m aware of the perception that Streep is considered to be a very good actress but just to make sure I called my mom to ask her opinion of Meryl and she said “Meryl Streep is the GOAT.” While I’m proud of my mom for using great slang terminology I’m not so sure Meryl Streep is actually the greatest of all time, I think Phillip Rivers might be better. Exibit A:

Meryl Streep and the rest of the hollywood elite may hate the idea of nothing to watch but football, whether they like it or not the Chargers will soon be playing in their city. Since he is in LA Phillip Rivers may want to consider trying his hand at acting. I mean look at the way he pretends to be tough one second and the next acts as if he was hit by a full speed train. I’d like to see Meryl Streep’s old bones pretend to take a hit like that. Maybe Phillip Rivers can give Meryl a few pointers, maybe start with picking a movie that doesn’t sound like a fake made up title like: Dark Matter, One True Thing, Prime, or Moonbeam (ok that last one was fake but it could have fooled me; all those others are all real movies that she was in, ever heard of any of them? me either.)

Rivers like Meryl Streep is also overrated but without any of the accolades to go along with it. Poor Phillip will have to pack up with 12 kids, drive up to LA and attempt to win more than 6 games so these holier-than-thou hollywood types like Meryl Streep’s will actually attend both the terrible Rams and terrible Chargers games. If he succeeds and people buy into the Chargers in LA maybe he and Meryl can be friends, if not I know another person who will agree with him that Meryl Streep and her Hollywood friends suck. Good Ol Goose.

NFL DIVISIONAL ROUND PICKS

All lines used from Las Vegas Westgate SuperBook

Falcons -265 over Seahawks and Over 51

Patriots -15.5 over Texans

Packers +5 over Cowboys

Chiefs -120 over Steleers

Falcons -265 over Seahawks and Over 51

I’m gonna try my best to do impartial when writing this even though I’m a die hard Falcons fan so I will do this in 2 parts. First is a sober level headed argument for why Atlanta will win this game: The Falcons enter the playoffs on a 4 game winning streak during which they averaged 39 ppg and held their opponents to 18 ppg. The Falcons played the Seahawks blow for blow in Seattle in week 6 and ALMOST came out with a win in Seattle despite losing the turnover battle 0-2. The Falcons had a buy and an opportunity to get healthy and the Falcons have no one listed on their injury report entering Saturday. The Seahawks lost pro bowl safety Earl Thomas for the season and have been significantly worse on defense since his injury. Lastly and most importantly this game is NOT in Seattle, where the Seahawks are 8-1 this year including the playoffs as opposed to 3-4-1 on the road. This game is gonna be close and I like the Falcons to come out on top.

Now for the Falcons fan in me to state his argument: THE FALCONS HAVE THE BEST DAMN OFFENSE IN THE LEAGUE RUSSELL WILSON’S STARBUCKS DRINKIN MACKLEMORE LISTENIN ASS WILL NEVER COME INTO THE ATL AND WIN A PLAYOFF GAME FALCONS SUPER BOWL BOUND 85 BEARS COULDNT STOP THIS OFFENSE FALCONS BY A MILLION.

 

Also I have no idea why I did not realize this earlier but the Falcons have hit or tied the over in their last 11 games so let’s go ahead call the over 51 a lock.

Patriots -15.5 over Texans

Here is a list of things that are more likely to happen than the Texans going into Foxborough and beating the Patriots this Saturday:

Hell freezes over. John Mellencamp wins an Oscar. John Elway comes out of retirement to play QB for the Broncos next season. Chris Brown and Soulja Boy put their differences aside to team up and run for president on the same ticket in 202o and win. Lenny Dykstra wins the nobel prize for literature. Jameis Winston and Chris Johnson team up to coach a high school speech and debate team. RGIII leads the browns to a super bowl. RGIII leads the Browns to the super bowl on Madden. RGII wins more than 8 games as the Browns Starting QB. RGIII plays 16 games in a season. Donald Trump appoints Meryl Streep to Secretary of State. Vladamir Putin and Barack Obama get matching BFF tattoos. Hilary Clinton gets photographed wearing a Make America Great Again hat. Johnny Manziel wins NFL comeback player of the year. The sun doesn’t come out tomorrow.

The Patriots went 13-3 ATS this season and covered double digit spreads multiple times. I expect them to do the same this Saturday.

Packers +5 over Cowboys

Easy pick to make because of how dominate the Packers looked last Sunday in the second half against a very good Giants defense. But this Packers team is more than just dominate for a half of playoff football, they are on a 7 game winning streak and in their last 5 games have averaged 35 ppg. They don’t have an easy task going into Dallas to play a 13-3 Cowboys team. I don’t know if the Packers will be able to win this one straight up but I think they will be able to keep it close.

Chiefs -120 over Steelers

Steelers looked great last Sunday and Vegas took notice as this line is almost a pick ’em on the road in Kansas City.  What Vegas didn’t take notice of was the Steelers were playing the Dolphins with a backup QB. Even with people hoping on the Steelers train, I’m sticking with the Kool-Aid man Andy Reid for one reason. Andy Reid is 16-2 in his Career in games coming off a buy. Andy Reid may not be good at winning super bowls or dieting but he is great at winning games coming off the buy. Give me Andy Reid, Alex Smith, and Fake Gronk  at home over the Steelers.

After this weekend we only have 3 football games left, enjoy it while you can.

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 18th straight week, Welcome to the NFL Playoffs.

We finally did it, we made it past that annoying post new year season where everyone lies to themselves saying they’re gonna make big changes in their life that will never happen. Past the time of millions of people posting pictures with a caption “new year new me” when clearly they are exactly the same person. Past the time of post college bowl season depression where you realize there are only a handful of football games to be played before its gone for months. And luckily waiting on the other side of that season is this glorious thing known as the NFL playoffs. Only 12 teams have their season still alive with hopes of winning a super bowl while the other 20 teams are off in some tropical location enjoying their offseason clubbing, partying on yachts, and hanging with celebrities. Or if you’re the New York Giants why not both?!?

Let’s go ahead and drop some breaking news: Professional athletes like to drink alcohol, and smoke marijuana, and some of them even take banned drugs to help their performance on the field or court. I’ve learned this valuable information from my sources: living in a place other than under a rock, and being born in a past time that was not yesterday. In case you are one of these under a rock or born yesterday people, this past weekend some members of the New York Giants traveled to Miami after their game in Washington and were partying at clubs and on yachts and turning down drugs. All week the talking heads of the sports world have been critical of these players questioning if their minds are actually focused on playing Green Bay in the Playoffs or off on a yacht in Florida. These idiots at ESPN and other media sites just jealous they couldn’t be hanging on a yacht with OBJ. These idiots who are critical of the fact that young millionaires took some time off to party and vacation need to shut up and stop ignoring the real issue. I have no problem with the fact the Giants players were parting, I’m disappointed in the way they partied.

Let’s start with the infamous picture that’s all over the internet, the one that is the cover of this post. There are 9 males in the picture and 1 female who’s back is turned. I’m no millionaire athlete but I assumed the reason you fly to Miami to party is to party on a boat set up like Dan Bilzerian with women covering >10% of their skin and a solid 12:1 female to male ratio (now that is math I am capable of doing). Instead the Giants choose to hang on a boat with a 1:9 female to bros ratio, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but if that’s how they wanted to spend their off day why not do it in New Jersey and not Miami. Secondly what the hell are they wearing in the picture?! I’m gonna take a guess that the pilot of the plane lied to them and told them they were flying to Seattle to play the Seahawks and thought it would be a funny prank to watch grown men party on a beach in Miami wearing winter hats, boots, and skinny jeans. I’ve wrote before about how I understand nothing about fashion, especially fashion of people my age but this is just unprofessional from a partying standpoint. We have 9 men in the picture and 2 of them are wearing shorts. If the NFL doesn’t drug test these players to find out what they took on the boat they should at least test them to find out what kind of influence they were under when they packed for this trip. Third mistake, how did the entire sports world find out these players spent their off day? was it paparazzi, dolphin fans outing a rival? Angry girls who the players ignored? none of the above. The players outed themselves by posting pictures of their trip on Instagram and snap chat.

Please allow me to take a quick break from dissecting the Giants Party fouls to rant about Millennials for a minute. I realize I am about as old as all these guys and I spend my time hanging around young people but this really bothers me. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO POST EVERYTHING THEY DO ON SNAPCHAT ARE THERE NO SECRETS LEFT IN THE WORLD WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO SIMPLY GOING ABOUT YOUR DAY WITHOUT TELLING THE WORLD ABOUT IT (I’m looking at you Antonio Brown). I myself am a millennial and use snapchat, I realize snapchat is not going anywhere but if you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re getting hammered and doing drugs in Miami on a Monday when you have to play a playoff game in Green Bay on Sunday; I doubt you want your opponents knowing how you spent your free time much less the entire world. If I’m the Giants and want to party in my free time I taking a page out of Derek Jeter’s playbook and instituting a no cell phone policy.

ok back to the Giants, rich young millionaires hanging on a yacht in Miami for the day there are bound to be some drugs. Everything Scarface and Miami Vice have taught me is there has to be drugs, so what are we talking ecstasy? coke? something worse? again none of the above, the drug of choice for OBJ and the fellas, adderall. What are they trying to study for finals after they get off of the yacht?! Of all the drugs in Miami, the Giants reportedly turned down adderall because the NFL would test for it. So let’s recap real quick we have a yacht with a lot dudes and 1 girl, the dudes are rockin skinny jeans winter hats and boots, they were found out via instagram and snapchat, and the drug of choice on their boat was adderall. The only way the Giants could make any more millennial party mistakes is to invite Bieber and the Kardashians. So that’s exactly what the Giants did. It was seen via snapchat Tuesday morning that Odell Beckham and Victor Cruz were partying with Justin Bieber Monday night. (that sentence would make me cry if I were a Giants fan, it was hard enough to type).

I can’t take any more of this, I’m done. I’m about to turn into a 24 year old grandpa and say the NFL is full of spoiled brat millennials who snapchat and party with Justin Bieber. The NFL used to be a league of men, men like Max Mcgee. The story of Max Mcgee is legendary but I will give you the short version. Max played for the Packers in 1967 and was a backup. The night before Super Bowl 1 he didn’t think he would get to play the next day so he stayed out all night drinking with 2 flight attendants he met on the plane. After getting to bed at 6:30 in the morning Max had to go to the Super Bowl hungover. Not only did he get in the game, he had one of the great playoff performances of his time, catching 7 passes for 138 yards, 2 TDs and 1 hangover. Max did the smart thing and waited till after the season to tell everyone the story, instead of posting it on snapchat the night before. Max Mcgee resisted the urge to post his story on social media so why couldn’t the Giants? If I were Head Coach Ben Mcadoo I would suspend Odell Beckham unless he has at least 7 catches for 138 yards and 2 TDs Sunday. And I don’t mean suspend him from football, I mean suspend him from hanging out with Bieber.

NFL WILD CARD WEEKEND PICKS

All lines used from the Las Vegas Westgate Superbook

Raiders +3.5 over Texans

Seahawks -8 over Lions

Dolphins +11 over Steelers

Giants +5.5 over Packers

 

 Raiders +3.5 over Texans

Let’s start off with this, this game is going to suck. This game is more like a Thursday night poopfest in week 4 than a playoff game. The Texans benched Brock Oswiler, then lost Tom Savage and are now stuck with Oswiler. Sort of like breaking up with a crazy girlfriend only to find out a few weeks later that she is pregnant. Raiders lost starting QB/MVP candidate/glove wearer Derek Carr and are stuck with rookie Conner Cook for the playoffs. Good news for Raiders fans is Conner Cook has no history of playing terrible in the playoffs, bad news is I’m lying. Any college football fan knows the last time we saw Conner Cook play football he was getting demolished by Alabama 38-0 during last years college football playoffs. This game is gonna suck so give me the Raiders and the points because no way does an AFC South team deserve to win a playoff game unless TJ Yates is involved.

Seahawks -8 over Lions

Both these teams are limping to playoffs going a combined 1-3 the last 2 weeks of the season and the lone win was the Seahawks only winning by 2 over the 49ers (I’d like to speak with Roger Goodell about a new rule where if a Chip Kelley team keeps the game within 3 points it should count as a loss for the other team). Neither team is hot but the Lions are especially cold after being outscored by an average of 13 points their last 3 games. Also fun fact for anyone who hates Detroit, the Lions haven’t won a playoff game since 1991 and haven’t won a road playoff game since 1957!! As bad as Seattle looked toward the end of the year they did finish the season 7-1 at home. Give me Seattle big in this one, or at least by 13.

Dolphins +11 over Steelers

I’m no expert, I just like to think I am, but this line is 5 points too high. Big Ben, Le’veon Bell, Antonio Brown; 3 big name talents playing for a historic franchise that has 6 super bowls, and the public loves betting them at home. The Dolphins are starting Matt Moore at QB, a guy who 5 years from now will own a dive bar in south Florida and tell random customers about the time he started QB in a playoff game in Pittsburgh and no one will believe him.  However the Dolphins are a better team than people think, and they beat the Steelers and a banged up Ben Roethlisberger earlier this season. The Dolphins might not be able to win this game but they will be able to hang with the Steelers and keep it close.

Giants +5.5 over Packers

I know I just spent 1 thousand words above bashing the Giants for their terrible decisions but this pick has nothing to do with the Giants WR’s (well kind of). I like the Giants in this game because of their defense. The Giants D has quietly come alive the last month of the season and I can’t help but think of the super bowl seasons the Giants had in 2007 and 2011. Get into the playoffs as a 4 or 5 seed, no big national media hyping them up, a defense that pressures the QB and an offense that does just enough. I’m not ready to crown the Giants super bowl champs but I could see them making a run that no one in the media saw coming. Everyone has spent all week talking about how hot Green Bay is and why Aaron Rodgers is the MVP. Meanwhile all we’ve heard about the Giants is their diva WRs don’t know how to party, maybe Ben Mcadoo paid OBJ to take the guys to Miami to distract from how awesome the defense is (maybe Mcadoo paid me to write this blog all about the WRs partying and leave the part about the defense at the end). I’m not a conspiracy guy, I’m just connecting dots. (Serious Note: Ben Mcadoo is too stupid to think of something like that but John Mara isn’t…) I like the Giants D to shut down Aaron Rodgers and shock the football world in an upset.

Happy Playoffs and have a good weekend.

 

 

Quick question: What’s better than skipping church, sitting on the couch in a dark room watching the Red Zone channel for 12 hours avoiding all real world responsibilities, and gambling on grown men who probably have CTE? Doing it for the 15th straight week, Welcome to NFL Sunday.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “any given Sunday, anything can happen” but does everyone remember when Oliver Stone decided to make a movie about football and stole his title from one of the greatest NFL sayings ever? Well I don’t really remember the movie but I remember it enough to know this, Dak Prescot it Willie Beamen.

The Dallas Cowboys are 11-2 entering week 15 an improbable record considering their starting QB Tony Romo went out in the preseason. Anyone with an opinion on football has talked about how great the rookie combo of Dak and Zeke have been, praising the two rooks for being able to single handily lead the cowboys to an 11 game win streak. Except that isnt the case at all, Dallas come into the season with by far the best offensive line in the NFL. An offensive line that allowed a 55 year old Darren Mcfadden to rush for over 1,000 yards a season ago. Just one time when Zeke takes off for a 25 yard gain without being touched I wish he would turn around and point to his offensive line instead of acting like he is eatin soup.

 

But, just when everyone thinks the season is lost before it’s over for Dallas, in steps Willie Beamen Dak Prescott. After losing his first start (just like Beamen in the movie) Dak led the Cowboys on an improbable 11 game winning streak to be in first place in the NFC with only 3 weeks left to go. Now i don’t really remember how the movie goes after that but I know the selfish diva owner Cameron Diaz Jerry Jones steps in handle the QB controversy and sad old man Tony Romo ends up finishing the season. Then there was a bunch of other stuff about a diva running back getting in trouble and a trainer that gives dudes pills but that stuff is all Hollywood and totally unrealistic in the NFL. Maybe I should rewatch the movie to see how the Cowboys season will play out but here is my prediction. Cameron Diaz Al Pachino and James Woods Jerry Jones and Jason Garrett will find a way to screw this up, either putting in Romo or not the Cowboys will not end up representing the NFC in the Super Bowl just like Any Given Sunday did not represent at the Oscars.

NFL WEEK 15 PICKS

All lines used from Las Vegas Westgate Supercontest

Lions +4 over Giants

Ravens -6 over Eagles

Bucs +7 over Cowboys

 

Lions +4 over Giants

Both teams come into this game coming off wins and needing a win to stay ahead in the playoff race. The Lions love to keep games close, with the only game all season that was decided by more than one score coming at New Orleans. Matt Stafford has quietly been consistent, clutch, and very stylish with his ability to wear multiple gloves in a game. On the other side of the ball Eli Manning has been inconsistent, not clutch and had many multiple Eli face games. The Lions are winning because of their QB, The Giants are winning in spite of theirs. I expect Detroit to win this one.

 

Ravens -6 over Eagles

Baltimore is coming off a tough loss to New England and needing a win to keep pace with Pittsburgh in the AFC North. This week the Ravens go back to Baltimore where they have averaged 27 points in their last 4 home games. The Eagles on the other side look like they have quit on new head coach/future offensive coordinator Doug Peterson. The Eagles are also without their only consistent offensive weapon, Darren Sproles. Steve Smith Sr. will end his career telling someone to S his D in the playoffs and Baltimore needs a win here for that to happen. Ravens big in this one.

 

Bucs +7 over Cowboys

As mentioned above the clock is getting closer to striking midnight for Dak ‘Willie Beaman’ Prescott (at least in terms of covering every spread). Dallas has been so good ATS this season that now every game of theirs is 3 points too high. If you have followed this blog at all you know I’ve been all over Tampa for weeks now and its more of the same, Defense, Defense, Mike Evans, Defense. Sunday night game of the week Tampa will play Dallas close and I like ‘crab legs’ Winston to cover over Willie Beaman.

 

Teaser of the Week:

Ravens +1 over Eagles

Chiefs +2 over Titans

Falcons -6.5 over 49ers

All three of these games have the same thing in common, a home team that needs to win to make the playoffs or hold their seed; and a road team who is all but out of the playoffs. This makes for an easy teaser weekend. The Chiefs are in the highly competitive AFC West playoff race and can’t afford to drop a home game to the Titans. MY Atlanta Falcons are coming off a 42-14 dominating win over the Rams and need a win again this week to keep ahead of Tampa in the NFC South. I am also flying to Atlanta this weekend with my little brother to watch my first and last ever Falcons game inside the Georgia Dome (RIP). With that being said, there is no way the Falcons don’t win Sunday by a million. Look for me in the stands Sunday afternoon, I’ll be the guy behind the Falcons bench in the Julio Jones jersey cursing at Julio Jones for not suiting up.

Last week: 4-2

This week: 0-1 (Thanks a lot #1 overall pick Jared Goff)